Review: “She Is My Child”
I chose this from an ARC program because I enjoy memoirs and the topic intrigued me.
The Premise
The author shares her spiritual journey, alongside her daughter Ava’s physical one, from diagnosis to surgeries for a rare disease, revealing the most difficult moments and the greatest victories, while highlighting God’s provision and guidance along the way.
The Pros & Cons
This was a heartfelt and insightful memoir about love, family, and the power of spirituality in coping with illness.
Already blessed with their son Grant, they are thrilled at the addition to the family in their daughter Ava, but at nine months old they notice an odd curvature to her spine. She is eventually diagnosed at fourteen months old with Morquio Syndrome, a rare, progressive, genetic disorder.
The author, her mother Tammy, reflects on the sudden realization that the life she’d envisioned was gone in an instant:
“…We had just been pushed into a whole new world—a world where concern over the health of our child, her physical and mental growth, had suddenly thrown us into a moment-by-moment streaming of vile possibilities and unknowns. How could I think about anything else? How would I function for the good of Greg, Grant, Ava, our home, myself? How was I to get over the stifling grief and continue to do all the things a mom does for her family each day?”
Despite the devastating status of Ava’s illness, her parents are determined to roll with the punches. One example is the t-shirts that poked fun at her “halo” (a neck brace to support her spine) with quotes like: “Yes I’m wearing a halo. Don’t all angels?” and “My halo is fine, but my wings are in the shop.”
This was one of the aspects I loved, as well as just enjoying reading about a little girl’s life that didn’t always center on her disability but also highlighted the beautiful things about her day-to-day life that made her personality shine through — bamboozling her grandma to get a book she wanted, her glee and impromptu performance upon receiving her first pair of ballet shoes, and the typical bickering with her brother.
The memoir was also informational as I learnt a lot about Morquio Syndrome, the clinical trials, the endless testing, and so much more. I also liked the spiritual aspect that was interwoven throughout. Tammy realizes that much of the heavy burden was already carried by God: they had secured a place in the earliest of the clinical trials, He was allowing Ava to get actual medicine rather than placebo, He kept her safe and in the care of the most wonderful medical and support staff, and He had even facilitated the drug company to take care of their expenses; all she had to do was get Ava there and back.
Conclusion
From beginning to end, the reader embarks on the journey with Ava’s family, experiencing the highs and lows of both medical treatments as well as everyday life. As a guide to advise other readers, I must admit I did find the book itself to be quite long (over 530 pages) and there were perhaps parts that could have been shorter; however the author’s frankness and insightful honesty as well as the language and style of writing are engaging throughout. I can see how this memoir was not only part of her own healing process, but also a roadmap for other parents or children that may be in a similar situation. I would highly recommend to other readers, particularly if they enjoy connecting with their religion and/or spirituality. Overall, the lasting message is, no matter how difficult it may seem, to lean on your faith to guide you through. As Tammy states:
“As much as I would love for Ava to have no medical problems whatsoever, I can say that her condition changed my relationship with God for the good in a way nothing else had and perhaps nothing else could.”
