…And BOOM, just like that, my revised Book 1 is done.
The pre-order is now live and available here on Amazonin time for the release on January 1st, 2021. I’m also just about ready with the print version, which I’ll publish in a few days. Here’s the new trailer:
I’m excited. I know it’s a bit silly to be excited over a book that I’ve already published, but it’s been quite a journey.
The first launch was in July 2018, so the January 1st, 2021 date will be about 2 and a half years since I first became a published author! Crazy, right? Where did the time go?
I’ve learnt a lot since then, and spent months in writer agony wondering if I’d made a huge mistake.
In retrospect, I finally admitted to myself that I may have gone a little gung-ho on the first pancake. I was so excited about the process of FINALLY publishing the book I’d been sitting on for so many years, that I didn’t research and fully understand the market beforehand.
The result was an epic book that — though many readers LOVED, they did comment that it was a bit long-winded.
The Big Chop
Took me awhile, but I finally decided to give the people what they want.
I chopped it down from 550+ pages to 385, the exact length of the other two in the series. And since I’m anal, I’m pretty sure that length (385 for print) is going to be my set point for other books going forward.
It’s a nice balance to get you DEEP into the characters’ emotions, without taking up your entire week or more to wade through.
And I’m proud of my new, sleek book baby.
It’s the same book but just so much better, now that I looked at it with a critical writer’s eye and decided to CHOP, CHOP, CHOP!
So… what’s next?
I’m still sorting out some of the last-minute hiccups over the next couple of weeks, so it’ll be a quiet launch. I still need to unpublish the old one, and link the new one to the series, and transfer my reviews.
I also haven’t booked any promos or book tours as yet, but all of that in time to come.
After initial feedback about the book length, I held myself back from promoting it in some avenues since some bloggers couldn’t commit to reading it. So now I’m a lot more comfortable offering up the shorter version for their enjoyment.
Hell, I’m a lot more comfortable offering up the shorter version for my OWN enjoyment.
Loving your writer self
Overall, I’m super-pleased I decided to do this. It was an epic job to whittle down my first “book baby” to a sleek, no-fluff new edition that will now be leading the series, but I’m so glad I did.
I’m also thrilled with the new cover, which now has more in common with the rest of the series and also gives away more of what the book is about.
And, of course, I’m also adoring the miracle that I was able to pack in the same story but in a much shorter length.
I’ve grown so much as a writer since I first hit “Publish”. This new book is like a brand new me.
No regrets.
Much love to any fellow writers out there who are knee-deep in the “REVAMP” of an already-published book baby. It takes even more out of you than the first version! Keep your head up, and love yourself enough to grow and adapt.
You need to love your writer self, you need to love your stories, and you need to own your book babies.
For me, the best part of this experience is that now that I’m more comfortable with Book 1, I can finally, finally FINALLY settle down and focus on NEW books in the series. I’m hoping Book 4 will see the light of day by 2021.
In the meanwhile, if you haven’t read “Climbing The Walls” as yet, or you enjoyed it and you’re in the mood for a re-read, be sure to check it out. Pre-order for January 1st, 2021!
I can’t believe it. Yup, my first book baby turned 2 years old recently, on July 28th.
In all fairness, I was hard-core for about 9 months after publishing, and then my zeal quickly tapered off when other life things took priority. So there’s been a long gap of doing very, very little writer-wise.
It took me awhile to get back to a project I had promised myself to do: editing and re-publishing Book 1 of my series, this time with a better plan for the re-release.
Why edit a book already published?
Well, for one thing, I didn’t become an overnight success with such an unwieldy tome.
Of course, publishing a novelette wouldn’t guarantee any more success, but I know that the size was off-putting to some readers — particularly book bloggers who have far too much on their plate to put that kind of faith in a new writer.
I’ve learnt so much since then, and grown so much as a writer even though I was “dormant” for part of the time.
I also read a lot, and found that there’s a sweet spot with reading — you want a book that feels like a full story, but doesn’t take over your entire life.
What’s new with this version?
Honestly, nothing fundamental.
You’d think that cutting from 555 pages to 385 pages (170 pages) would change the entire direction of the story, since that length of the difference is more than some people write for an entire book!
But… no.
That’s the beauty of editing. If you’re really, really, good at it, it can be seamless enough so that it’s barely noticeable.
I’m a good editor. Scratch that. I’m a flipping fantastic editor.
Problem is: you should NEVER edit yourself. I know this, though I did it again anyway.
Maybe I’m a different person two years later, though. Certainly, reading it over two years later, I saw a lot of things that irked me because they could have been so less verbose.
What was my process?
First, I evened it out a bit. I collapsed chapters into each other that seemed natural to fit together, and then looked for super long ones and cut those.
I got rid of a lot of white space, knowing that my “first pass” would look tight and busy, but then I could keep cutting a line here or there in the final edit.
I just finished this “first pass” a couple days ago, so I still have more editing to do so that chapters don’t end without sufficient breathing room.
Layout is a slippery beast — you want to be on top of that.
And I write a lot of dialogue, so that’s what I cut. A LOT of it. Entire scenes of it. Or huge chunks of it. From everywhere. I gave myself rules as I went along, like:
Every paragraph on this page has to be one line less
Every chapter ending with a half-page or quarter-page has to get rid of that extra bit
Every chapter beyond 15 pages has to lose a page
…and so on.
If you’re disciplined like that, you’ll get there eventually.
How long did it take?
It took me a few weeks altogether. I started when I was on my super-megatrip cruise vacation in April-May 2019, where I had loads of free time with long sea days across the Atlantic, so I managed to ditch the bulk of it at 80-100 pages.
Then a trickle here and there where I ditched a page here and a page there over the course of several months (pregnancy and a new baby is a fabulous excuse for procrastinating!), and then finally a last burst of a push from 411 to 385 in the last few weeks since I moved out from where I was living and into my new home where I finally have the mental peace to focus on writing again.
So… yeah. It’s been QUITE the journey, but I’m here.
My 555 debut book monstrosity is now slim and sexy and a measly 385 pages long.
Why 385, you ask?
Well, because that was the number I had settled on for my other two books — Pandora’s Poisonand Pandora’s Price. At the time, I kept those two at the exact page count because it is meant to be a 2-part read. So it seemed like a good number to aim for with Book 1 as well.
Plus, 385 is that aforementioned “sweet spot” for me.
What’s next?
Now that I’ve hit my desired page count, it’s not over just yet. Here’s what still lies ahead:
PRINT VERSION CLEANUP
I still have some more tightening to do to free up some white space for the print version. I ideally like my chapters to have at least a half or quarter page of breathing room in between. So there’s still quite a few lines to cut.
E-VERSION EDIT
Once I’m properly there with the print version, I have to set everything up for the e-version. This is time-consuming and painstaking. I just hope I’ve remembered the steps to link the chapters and add the cover and a million more things.
GET MY NEW COVER DONE
I just commissioned it a couple of days ago. I’m so excited. I’m using a similar image (same woman, same photoshoot) but adding some elements to show what the story is about.
GET MY NEW ISBN
You need this once you significantly edit a book’s page count. I requested this yesterday and should get it by next week. Whoop.
GET AMAZON TO TRANSFER MY REVIEWS
Gosh, I hope they do. It would be a shame to lose them. I hope my edit still counts as the same book, to them. It would be painful to start from scratch.
REMOVE MY OLD BOOK BABY
Sayonara, sucker. Your new version is slimmer and sexier now.
MARKET MY REVISED BOOK BABY
Yeah, I’m not looking forward to this. This is the absolute worst part.
LAUNCH
Currently targeting January 1st, so I have a few months to plan properly.
Of course, that’s not exactly how it happened — or rather, it is, but it’s not a cause-and-effect type of sentence but just a factual one.
It’s been a whole lot of crazy in my head, and I’ve abandoned social media for the most part of the last few months. Well, the last year or so, if we’re being brutally honest — save for a few posts scattered here and there.
I’ve never been the overly outgoing type, but pregnancy and the early trenches of motherhood drove me into a deep funk of silence. Then, just when I was ready to emerge… coronavirus knocked me back into my hole.
Now, to be fair, no time is a good time for a pandemic, but still… yowza!
Nowadays is already history
I never thought I would live through a moment in history like I am now. I’ve always been aware of critical global events with a kind of fascinated detachment:
Interested enough, affected somehow, but not viscerally touched.
While I’ve been largely privileged to not have this pandemic devastate my entire world, there were some harsh realities that it brought into focus as it mercilessly touched others around me and altered the course of my life plans for the short-term and long-term.
So that’s the real world, and then there’s the fantasy world of my books.
Being a writer can sometimes be a wonderful way to escape reality and live in “book world” with your characters, getting away from it all as you occupy your mind with the innermost needs of the nonexistent.
And, here’s the problem: I haven’t been writing.
Hello Silence, my old friend
Part of it is that as a new mom, I’ve been struggling to get time to do the basic human tasks like eating, sleeping, and showering (exercising is a bonus!) and then to combine it all with working from home with a baby.
But the even bigger part of is, if I’m being brutally honest with myself, is that I’m afraid to write.
When the world is spinning crazily on its axis into God alone knows, and the future looks scary at best, I don’t trust the noise in my head to be productive.
Instead, I add to it even more noise — engaging in endless discourse and speculation with anyone who will listen, and staying up late interminably scrolling through Facebook, halfway teetering to news-heavy threads to stay informed and then careening into the peak of silliness with the black hole that is memes, viral videos and animal gifs.
…Gotta keep that noggin busy, so it doesn’t focus on the financial instability of my little family, the crushing fears of the future — not to mention the ever-present, incessant paranoia of doing everything wrong as a new mama.
Writing the noise away…
It’s not a comfortable head space to be in. No one’s is, these days, I’m sure. I’m privy to the problems of friends around the world with whom I check in, as the days crawl by — everything from sudden joblessness, home-schooling horrors, high-risk paranoia, lockdown discomfort and boredom, and general unease.
I know I’m fortunate, I know the entire world is suffering and most of them are far worse off than me. It doesn’t stop the noise in my own head, though.
Usually, writing helps clear that noise — but getting to that space where I’m comfortable enough to write again seems insurmountable, at times.
Writing can break your spirit. Certainly, the post-writing process is agonising at best. I’ve been largely distant from it lately, and every so often I check in and I’m surprised to see that little bump of page reads or sales: the waxing and waning of that yellow bar of validity.
It’s heartening to know my books are out there, and devastating to worry if I will ever finish any more books. My characters’ stories aren’t finished. I owe them so much, and I’ve failed them.
But writing has saved me before, and I have faith it will again.
I just have to hang in there and wait for its magic to find me.
This past year has been a wild ride with a lot of ups and downs, but thankfully no regrets.
I’ve learnt so much since I first published, and grown so much as a writer AND as a person. I’ve learnt to rejoice in the triumphs of praise, and also to take criticism to heart to improve my craft.
In fact,I’d hoped to launch the revised, slimmer version of this book today, but that self-imposed deadline had to be pushed back. I’m not going to stress about it, though. I’ve got some personal battles going on lately, and right now I need to put “Sacha-the-person” ahead of “Sacha-the-writer”… and that’s okay.
I know that once I’m back to full steam, I’ll write something AMAZING again. Until then, I’m satisfied with what I’ve accomplished so far.
3 books in 8 months was a huge feat, and I’m thrilled to have actually made money from my writing… and so humbled that I have fans that appreciate my books, and are looking forward to reading more.
And this book is where it all started. So I’m SUPER proud of this first book baby.
Just a reminder — myfirst published book was released July 28-29, 2018. My second published book was released on January 22, 2019. So there was a good six-month window between Book 1 and Book 2, but only a couple of months until Book 3!
Yikes! So it’s been a helluva couple of months…
Publishing vs. “Net New” Writing
I set a high bar for myself with that two-month window between books, and I don’t recommend this to anyone!
I was cutting it VERY close to the deadline, made a crazy dash to do last-minute edits, and hardly had time to promote both the recently-released Book 2 and the upcoming Book 3! So both books suffered from the short timeline.
BUT I had my reasons. I have a semi-cliffhanger in between Books 2 & 3, so I didn’t want toooooo long of a wait, and I also really wanted to get those books out there as they’ve been around forever!
I needed to get those books out there so I could focus on NEW stories, NEW characters!
I haven’t done much “net new” writing in YEARS, because these books occupied SO MUCH of my head space! I’ve revised and re-read and edited and WORKED so much on what I had, that I didn’t even feel possessed to work on stories that aren’t fully there yet.
So I’m really glad to have Book 3 PUBLISHED, LIVE, AVAILABLE, and most importantly — all its “production” is now OVER.
Now… I can actually, really WRITE.
Book 3: Wrapping Up The Series (for now)
Book 3 wraps up the first chunk of this series. I still have at least two more stories in me for this series — Bryan’s & Stacey’s which will be told in Book 4, and Gianni’s & Vicki’s which will be in Book 5 (not yet titled!). I haven’t figured out how it all ends yet, but I know that the MAIN story is done. Thank God.
The main story was Darren and Luisa… the affair that rocked EVERYTHING. It deserved two books, and I made sure it was PROPERLY told. It’s there. It’s out.
My Book 2 & Book 3 couple is a lot more complicated than Book 1’s. With Darren and Luisa, there’s SO much more. It is SO deep and was SO painful to write.
I’m really glad I ended up leaving it on a cliffhanger so readers could BREATHE between books. Because Book 3 moves SO FAST. There’s a natural break while the two main characters barely speak, but when Book 3 starts back up, it is RAW and goes DARK very, very fast. I repeat:
I did spend way more time FEELING my Books 2 & 3 characters, reliving scenes and retooling them. My writing is so, so, so much better by Book 3. I see myself. I am all over the place.
I am Luisa and her indecisive heart.
I am Darren and his desperate redemption.
I am Gianni and his quivering soul.
I am Kris and his eternal regret.
I am Nicole and her volatile seduction.
I am “Hart & Cole”.
They are all a part of me. I am a part of them.
They’re out there. All of them.
And this book is their culmination, for now. Their stories are told. FINALLY.
It’s today. It’s out there. It’s published. Woo-hoo!
Three published books, y’all. I’m a frickin’ WRITER, y’all!
(Now I need to stop boasting and hide in a corner and beg my Book 4 couple to talk to me!)
Get both parts of Darren’s & Luisa’s story now on Amazon:
Now, myfirst published book was a whole six months ago (July 28-29, 2018). So it’s been quite some time bunkering down and absorbing all I can before my second book!
The first (book) pancake
The first book was kind of like the first pancake. Not that it needed to be “thrown out” per se; just that it was the guinea pig.
I’ve grown so much as writer, as a marketing strategist — hell, as a human being! — since.
I didn’t know much at the time. I just knew that I had to PUBLISH THE DAMN THING, so maybe I rushed it a little.
Bear in mind, the draft existed for 15+ years. So the “rush” was really just to “publish” once I’d made up my mind to do it.
And I’m a perfectionist by nature, so even my “rushing it” probably isn’t everyone else’s “rushing it”.
Mind you, Book 1 was edited several times, had a great cover and a good blurb. Which is much more than I can say for many self-published books, so I’m proud I got at least that right (I hope)!
Now, I know Book 1 is far from perfect. I love it, and readers did as well, but I personally wish it were significantly shorter — in fact, I managed to dock about 5 pages and re-upload it, post-publication!
But after doing that, I’ve told myself to just leave it alone. It’s out. It’s published. It survived. Move on.
It’ll never be perfect. And there’s no way I can realistically cut 100-200 pages and still tell the same story. There’s also no good point to chop that story in half, and then I’d need to rewrite and “fluff” far too much.
I need to accept that some books fall “outside” of genre norms, and my book just needs to be one of those.
So I’m moving on now, to Darren’s & Luisa’s story.
Books 2 & 3: Moving On
Book 2‘s & Book 3‘s couple is a lot more complicated than Book 1’s.
In Book 1, Kris and Nicole have one major issue in between them: she’s a workaholic, and he picks up the slack far too much with the kids; something’s got to give. With Darren and Luisa, there’s SO much more.
I loved writing their “early” scenes, when they were first falling in love.
I loved writing their “present – bad” scenes, when they’re sniping at each other.
I loved writing their “present – good” scenes, when they’re so tender.
…And that final scene (which bridges Book 2 & 3… OH MY GOD). Wait for it. Just wait for it.
Darren is a VERY difficult guy to love, but still Luisa can’t help herself. She also can’t help herself from feeling caught up in Gianni, who is the guy, as she says, that she “wants to want”.
The thing with Darren is that, as her friend Vicki puts it, early in Book 3:
“Darren Hart isn’t the rainbows and butterflies guy. He’s the one you call when you’re standing over the dead body with the murder weapon in your hand. You’re ridiculously lucky to have that guy. You can’t expect him to be the other kind.”
Even Luisa acknowledges this about him, many times. She’ll get the small-picture stuff from Gianni, but Darren is the big-picture guy. He’s always saving her, rescuing her, taking care of their family in the major ways that count.
That’s love.
When the chips are down, Gianni’s not the one who’s there. It’s Darren. It was always Darren.
You see, love doesn’t always look the way you expect it to look. That’s the lesson Luisa has to learn. And of course, she’s got to learn it the hard way!
So that’s Books 2 & 3 in a nutshell.
Writer Reflection: Gradual Growth
I should mention… Books 2 & 3 are way more emotional, way more steamy, way more provocative, way more profanity-laced, way more EVERYTHING than Book 1! I hope readers are ready!
But I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I KNOW it’s necessary. Apart from the obvious reason that the length is WAY too long for a single book (seriously — it would only be used as a doorstop!), you also need to take a break from this couple.
There’s a natural “break” between the two books because Darren and Luisa barely speak to each other for awhile. And a couple of months will be sufficient time to BREATHE before all the Book 3 action kicks off.
But anyway, I realise, as I look back at these three books, that I’ve matured as a writer.
Book 1‘s first draft was written when I was in my late teens, on the cusp of adulthood. I knew so little about relationships then! And still, I was writing such a story!
But Book 2 & even more so Book 3… yeah, I was a lot older and more mature by the time those rolled around.
My writing is better. I see myself in these books, more than Book 1.
And I’m ready to rip off the band-aid and expose Book 2 to the world.
It’s happening. It’s today.
It’s out there. It’s published.
I’m a little scared. *Deep breath*… here goes nothing.
There’s less than a week to go for Book 2 of my series, so I’m doing a million things at once. So please forgive the mini-rant!
I took some time to reflect on parts of the journey that have been the hugest learning curve for me.
Super-solid Photoshop skills
I appreciate that my Photoshop skills have definitely improved over the past six months!
This certainly wouldn’t have happened if I had loads of money to spend on graphic design for teasers and promos, so this journey has been well worth the ride!
Some things I figured out on my own, others I YouTube’d to learn how to do!
So now I feel like I can easily slap together a teaser, or create the book jacket, without panicking! Woop!
Algorithm Appreciation
Yeah. I still don’t understand algorithms. Like, at all.
I do, however, appreciate that it’s a numbers game — the more freebies you give away, the more people see your book and then may purchase or read on Kindle Unlimited beyond the promo.
The more reviews you have, the more people may be seeing your book (I think).
Not sure how this entire tangle of algorithm mess actually works, but I appreciate that any tips fellow authors offer may be valuable. WORSHIP the algorithms!
Patience & Know-How
I have gotten more organised. Thank God. I needed to.
I now have three book file folders. In each of them there’s:
The raw master Word file
The PDF export of that Word file
A raw master Pages document [I no longer use Kindle Create; I had those files earlier before I moved to Pages because Kindle Create was awful!]
The EPUB export of that Pages document
The MOBI version from that EPUB file (I use Calibre for the conversion)
Then I have:
The book cover for the print version
The book cover for the ebook version
The book jacket (PSD editable file)
The book jacket (PDF file ready for upload)
The book cover with the 3D mockup
Smaller version of the book cover (for web use)
Then there are the “preview/sample” files :
A raw Pages document of the Chapter 1 & 2 excerpt with cover
The PDF & EPUB & MOBI files for this (for my Prolific Works giveaways)
Another version with no cover (for use on my website) and its corresponding PDF & EPUB & MOBI files
PHEW.
That’s for EACH BOOK. AND I HAVE THREE! So, every time I find a typo, it’s like F@$#$@#$#$#$#@$#@$##$@!K — because I have to update things 20 times!
Yeah. Being a self-published author is AWESOME on some days, and on other days, a TYPO can ruin your life!
To all the fellow folks out there proud to be a self-published author, hang in there! I feel your pain, and you’re not alone.
Anyone else want to share their major learning curve items, feel free to do so in the comments! I’m sure #3 resonates with us all! ?????
One of my goals for 2019 is to read more. And review more — especially indie authors!
After all, it’s not fair to be begging for reviews when you’re not passing it forward yourself.
So over the last couple of weeks, I’ve given myself a huge kick in the pants to get this goal underway…
Hunting for Freebie Gems
I downloaded at least 50 books running free promos (to add to the at least 30 “TBR” pile already on my Kindle).
My strategy to stick to the freebies is a situational thing. I’m poor, but if I love the first one I get for free, I’ll happily shell out the dough to get the next one! So I figured: there are loads of worthwhile freebies out there.
After all, my own book (which I think is pretty good — I may be biased, but hey!) was offered as a freebie in December to promote sell-through of the rest of the series, and I’ll soon be running another free promo again from January 22-24, 2019.
So if mine is a worthwhile freebie-starter, there MUST be others like it: freebie gems.
So, 80+ books, yay me! Goals! And I settled in to tackle some reading.
Just one problem.
I just realised I am a picky reader.
Like, super-picky. Super, super picky.
Sorry, but out of 80 I didn’t make it past 10% for more than 8!
Raving, Resplendent Review Requirements
The thing is, I don’t want to write half-assed reviews.
I need to feel MOVED to spend time banging out a review.
Like writing a novel, I need to put my soul into it!
And I haven’t been MOVED since last September, which is when I wrote the review for Mercedes Siler’s “Easy” — which I’ve also promo’d across my website, blog, social media accounts etc. without her even asking me to!
Mercedes loved the review I wrote, and I loved writing it. I love writing reviews for books that blow me away.
…Because you see, when I love a book, I LOVE a book.
I’ll scream it from the mountaintops.
And I WANT to love all these books I’ve downloaded.
I want to make a fellow author weep or jump for joy the way I do when I get a great review.
I want to make someone’s day.
But authors, you need to write me something to take me there.
Something that, when I close the book (or swipe the final screen), my heart’s straining out of my chest and my entire soul is pouring into the review.
…Something that ticks all the boxes.
Here’s what I’m looking for:
A believable storyline.
Drama that pulls you in without rushing things.
Writing that has an element of artistry to it.
Description that assaults your senses.
Diverse [and aptly described!] characters.
Main characters that you both love & hate.
Supporting characters NOT just for comic relief.
A steamy scene that isn’t laughable or gross.
An element of surprise.
Something symbolic.
Something sweet.
Something shocking.
Something raw.
Something emotional.
A story that comes full circle.
Yep. I’m a picky reader! I think my Hart & Cole series has all of these. I worked hard to bring all of these elements together to create my own story.
My own story may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and maybe it’s not what everyone’s looking for — but I can go through that list and find moments that connect with each and every point. There’s a lot to unpack there.
Now, I’m looking for something similar in books I read.
…And I’m just not seeing enough of those elements from other writers I have read recently.
The market is oversaturated with “tropes” and just plain annoying one-dimensional characters. Girls that show up on page 1 wet and ready, and alpha guys that are growling and broody for no reason at all. Books that are about literally nothing — just a dollop of angst and hormones.
Writers writing to make money rather than to actually move the reader.
Do better. Please, please, DO BETTER, writers.
I want to write rave reviews. As a writer, when I read, it’s tough for me to write bad reviews, and I WANT to write those reviews that make the author’s heart sing.
I need to get out of this reading slump. If you write in these genres, and you think you’ve got one of those books that ticks all my boxes, let me know in the comments or via my Contact page!
“I am not typically a fan of first person viewpoint writing but for this book, it works very well. The author managed to create two individual people within the story and tell a first person view from each of them and they did not get lost in each other, nor did one overpower the other.” (Red – see full review here.)
This is perhaps one of the best compliments I’ve gotten so far on my debut published novel Climbing The Walls (Hart & Cole Book 1) – one I didn’t even think of, when writing.
Because, of COURSE my characters don’t get lost in each other – to me, they never will; they never can. They are each so individual, so unique, to me… so I’m thrilled my readers are also able to GET that.
Because here’s the thing:
Kris and Nicole – they’re both fully (and individually!) formed in my head. I’ve only just barely edited them.
Plotter vs. Pantser
In writers’ circles you have to be one or the other – either you have a plan and you outline everything, or you just write and see where it takes you. So, which am I?
I revealed my own secret through the character of Nicole, a part-time writer:
That’s rule number one about writing a novel. Never tell your agent, publisher, husband, or anyone even remotely involved with your book that you don’t know jack shit about what your book’s gonna be like.
Have faith that if you start somewhere, one night the words will grip you and you’ll be typing like a possessed creature and you’ll fall asleep slumped over the computer and wake up in the morning to discover what you’ve written.
It’s rare that ideas are going to come if you sit calmly day after day in front the machine with slotted times to work on the book. It’s whenever you’re haunted, whenever you want to get away from your own life, whenever you’re possessed. That’s when the inspiration hits. That’s when you grin on the inside and think, JACKPOT.
Writing’s a lot like sex –– when you’re not getting any it can be the worst thing in the world, but then when it comes and it’s good it’s great and worth all the nights you weren’t getting any.
Yep, that was my cheeky nod to the writing process.
If you’ve got a keen eye for detail, you’d have noticed that Nicole’s writer’s block happens on Chapter 6 of her novel (and it happens in Chapter 6 of mine!).
“Chapter 6”
In law, in business, “Chapter 11” connotes bankruptcy. For me, Chapter 6 is the tipping point – just past the halfway mark between throwing in the towel and deciding to make it work.
Kris and Nicole have been married for 6 years before all hell breaks loose – beginning with the aftermath of their nasty fight that opens Chapter 1.
6 is the magic number here.
Chapter 6 of Nicole’s novel is the point when she decides to scrap everything and start over. It was also my point when the story fully took hold – when Nicole grabbed ahold of me and didn’t let go.
Hopefully Chapter 6 of their marriage is Nicole’s and Kris’ turning point, as well. God, I hope so. I hope I ended on a positive note, despite the journey getting there, despite the journey Nicole took me on.
Yes… Nicole. Sure Kris, was there too, but he was along for the ride.
Nicole was the one that pushed me, scrabbling at my brain and speeding those possessed fingers over the keyboard in the wee hours of the morning.
You see, Nicole is NOT necessarily a protagonist. You’re not supposed to love her.
Yes, I had trouble connecting with her at first. (And readers have said the same.) Everyone loves Kris – he’s easy to love.
He’s railing against himself to fight off the forces struggling to bury him… and he succeeds for a moment, only to plunge right afterward – self-destructing, seeking salvation, and susceptible; for the first time: susceptible.
But even in his darkest, weakest moment when he ultimately completely sh*ts the bed, you still feel sorry for him; you feel disappointed, sure, but you still feel compassion.
Nicole… not so much.
Zero to a Hundred
…But from Chapter 6, she was under my skin. She scraps her novel, and starts writing a story based on a memory of her childhood – and that’s when she became fully real to me.
The memory is about sex, which has always been easy for her to give away. Sex is easy. Everything else is the problem.
But you don’t – you can’t – “become” Nicole overnight… so how did she get there?
Where does she come from; what does she come from; who does she come from?
How does a girl turn into this monster bitch that can’t stop herself from making the wrong decisions?
How does a girl turn into a woman that goes from zero to a hundred – lashing out, vicious sexual seduction, profound intimacy – in a split second?
She’s scraped a piece of herself into everything she’s written. She’s all over the place. She was broken from the jump. That’s how.
She’s NOT a protagonist. Hell, I hated her, half the time. But that didn’t mean I had permission to stop telling her story. She wouldn’t let me stop telling it.
I’m working on Book 4 now, and I’m not even remotely done with her yet.
She’s already had her moments with Darren – coming up in Book 2&Book 3 [and OH MY GOD, I LOVE WRITING SCENES FOR THOSE TWO!…] and still, for the life of me… I can’t stop.
She’s flowing out of me, this mongrel-mulatto journalist/writer b*tch.
I’m a pantser, oh baby I’m such a pantser, but only because she’s already been hard at work, plotting.
She’s eating me alive… she’s devouring all the other imaginary friends in my head, pushing ahead of everyone else to stamp her way through everything.
…And for the life of me… for the life of Nicole, God help me… I can’t stop.
“I’m so, so, so sorry, Lee…” I’m almost in tears, as I delete an entire scene with one of my favourite characters.
But I’m down 50 pages already (woohoo!), and all the nips and tucks in the world won’t get me to where I need to go. I need to edit. I need to CUT.
“Climbing The Walls” (Book 1), was already a bit longer than it needed to be (a criticism I’ve received, and taken in stride).
I felt it myself, during the million-and-one edits, but I justified it: for the first book, you need to take a little time to introduce characters and “drop in” snippets of back stories, little kernels of jewels that you can fully pop and allow to bloom in a later installment.
But enough of Book 1.
For now, my mind and heart and soul are buried deep in Book 2…
…Of which, the first draft was already 200 pages longer than Book 1!!!
So… it’s chopping time!
What (Who?) to Cut
Lee — Alejandro Galeota — who is mentioned briefly in passing in Book 1 of Hart & Cole, and becomes a somewhat central character in Book 2 of Hart & Cole… Lee is awesome.
At 21, Lee is a big kid and brings some comic relief and support to both Darren & Luisa
He’s Luisa’s little brother, and fiercest advocate. He’s Darren’s new protégé and business partner. He’s the children’s favourite uncle; and at only 21, he’s also a big kid himself. He’s dynamic, he’s supportive, he’s sweet, he’s lovable, he’s funny, and he has some of the best one-liners.
He’s also… well, not the point.
He’s there because he needs to be; he’s the reason certain plot points can move forward, and I’ve been thrilled to build his character out as fully as I can… but now, I can’t. I just can’t.
Editing a book is similar to a film or a TV show. I remember when I watched the Behind-the-Scenes/Making Of one of my favourite teen soaps, the iconic early-2000s One Tree Hill.
There was supposed to be an entire story arc of Peyton helping a troubled young girl, and… when it came time to cut… there just wasn’t. As they explained it, in the end…
You have a certain running time, and instead of tweaking every other scene to chip off bits and pieces to string together a story that still makes sense, you go with the easier option: just CHOP one section out entirely.
And, hard luck for the poor actor/actress who was about to make their debut!
After all, I’m sure we all remember the funny scene on Friends, “Joey’s Big Scene” where Joey faked a scene for his grandma, when his character got cut entirely, after he had invited all his friends and family to watch!
When to Cut: White Spaces
Every writer has a process.
I write in Microsoft Word, on a regular 8″ by 11″ letter-sized layout. I do this because I want to have a concept of pages and flow, and in terms of content I know what my chapters should look like, in that layout.
I write EVERYTHING, to start. The story happens in my head in its entirety — every single word of dialogue, every pause, every action, every look between the characters.
Better to have a half-page blank than a few orphan lines of text
Then, I bring it into the template sized for publication (I’ve chosen 6″ by 9″ for Hart & Cole — you can download a sample template here). Here, I see where all the words actually fall, all the orphaned one-words dangling unnecessarily on a line by itself, or the very short page at the end of a chapter.
That’s where my cutting starts — tightening the white spaces.
Yes, you need to leave some of them, to be easy on the eyes, but it’s better to have a half-page or quarter that is blank, than a single line or maybe two on a page by itself!
So, some of the lengthy first draft, thankfully, gets tightened up naturally, once your goal is just to reduce white space.
How to Cut: Dialogue
I also write a lot, I repeat a LOT of dialogue. And there’s only so many times you need to write “he says/she asks”.
Yes, you need enough, so that the reader can follow who is speaking, but I focus on using their actions in between their words rather than identifying the speaker with “he/she says”.
“I am just saying… we used to be friends, Luisianna.”
“No, Gianni.” I uncross my legs and pull my feet up, hugging my knees. “We’re just two people who used to f**k, a lot, a long time ago.”
And, a little later down, when Darren and Nicole see each other for the first time in weeks:
Nicole sighs. Her eyes drop to the box at her feet. “So I’m really fired?”
“You wanted to be fired, baby girl. Be careful what you ask for.” I smile ruefully, chucking my index finger in her direction.
Not once did I use the actual words of “speech”, but you know who’s talking. That way, you can get away with getting rid of about 50% of “he said/she said”.
So… dialogue, white spaces… woohoo! You get a few pages knocked off the top that way.
The real problem comes when you realise you’ve invested 20% into a secondary character, who really only needs 10% or less — no matter how much you love every single word you’ve written for him in every scene.
…So, I’m sorry Lee. I’ll try to do justice to you sometime later on!
The question was eating me alive. So, I posted it on several of the Writers’ groups I had recently joined.
Within minutes, my phone was plinging like it was having a seizure.
Responses poured in from all corners of the globe — across the many groups, members amount to 90,000+ writers, and 2000+ of them were leaping and squabbling over each other to share their opinions!
Mind you, this isn’t a “Work In Progress” and no one specifically asked you to be a “beta reader”. Maybe Amazon just gave you a nudge and said “Hey, what did you think of this book?”
You’re a writer. You hated it. Should you tell the world?
If you can’t say anything nice…
One recurring theme, and one I wholeheartedly agree with, is:
Acts of creation take such courage, that by and large, I am hesitant to be publicly critical.
Of course, as a wise member pointed out:
If someone wants to be an author, they can’t be all…. ‘Oh here’s my baby. You need to pay your hard-earned money to read it. But if it’s awful, don’t hurt my feeeelings. Waaaa!’
And another guy was taking no prisoners:
I sharpen my blades and charge in with a lunge to the jugular and leave them bleeding in a pool of hard love.
448 comments — and this was just one group, out of several! And such a wide range of responses…
He was adamant he would want the criticism himself; after all: how can a writer expect to improve their craft if they aren’t given honest feedback?
However, is a public forum, such as the official Amazon book page, the right place for it?
Some opted for trying to get in touch with the writer to share their thoughts.
Others said there was no point: unsolicited peer feedback may rub some writers the wrong way; and also the story is done, there’s no putting the cat back into the bag.
The dilemma is… as a writer, you know what it takes to bleed a story out of you; so is it really necessary to plop a hot mess on your fellow man’s/woman’s parade?
As one member, who runs a book review blog, said:
I have to kiss a dozen frogs before I get a princess… but I just prefer not to kiss and tell.
Was it unreadable… or just unlikable, for me?
Almost everyone seemed to agree that you must separate the physical and emotional.
Physically, a book needs to have a plot, sentences that make sense, good grammar and spelling, and something to work with…
Being boring is one thing; being unreadable is another.
Emotionally, quite simply — not everyone is going to connect with every story.
So, while most would holler (whether privately or publicly) — “Hey, straighten up and fly right!” to ensure this writer doesn’t give the profession a bad name, it’s a different story when it comes to the gut reaction of a fairly-written piece of work you just didn’t like.
As one writer pointed out, reading is a “to each his own” situation:
Reviewers are like witnesses to a murder; it has been scientifically documented that they don’t know what they’re talking about because they don’t know what they saw (read).
This writer soon gained many insta-fans AND insta-haters!
I wasn’t surprised to see the many, MANY references to the “Twilight” series, and to what one member called “50 Shades of Stockholm Syndrome” 🙂 ??? “I honestly couldn’t get past the first 10 pages, and I tried. I really, really tried.”
Still, these polarising texts made shitloads of money, despite being critically panned by readers and fellow writers alike.
So somebody — lots of somebodies, in fact! — were insta-fans.
Just because you don’t like it, it doesn’t mean others won’t.
So yes, as writers, we all have to have a thick skin; but as the saying goes, opinions are like a**holes — we all have one.
And then, there’s the valid point that in this instance you put on your “Reader” hat, not your “Writer” hat.
One writer argues: “Me being an author shouldn’t come into my review. I am reviewing as someone who has read the book and is a consumer. It is not unprofessional at all.”
It’s understood that as a writer, critical reviews are part of the deal.
You can’t be a writer if you refuse to listen to your audience.
And, here’s the thing: there are also WRITERS in your audience.
At the same time, writing can be a very singular, isolating profession.
“Author” simply doesn’t have the same rules as almost every other profession whereby it’s understood the mud-slinging will come back to hit you in the face (rapper-beefs, anyone?!).
Your bottom line isn’t affected by this writer’s novel that didn’t move you. If you’re not a fan, you can quietly be “not a fan”!
As a writer, you see…
…All we have are our words.
We can, but should we really attack our own?
Weigh the nasty vs. the popularity…?
Another theme that popped up in response to my hot-button topic was the popularity of the writer, and the stage at which negative feedback is given.
It’s one thing to review someone who already has a huge following. Your nasty review isn’t taking a penny away from E. L. James or Stephenie Meyer.
You can be a terrible writer… and still be successful.
But what about the newbie independent self-published authors, who work a million times harder to scrape their soul into their work and then painstakingly shop it around?
Stephen King was NOT a fan… but, so what?
For an emerging author, your bad review — however “constructive” you think it is — can discourage them entirely, not to mention massively daunt their sales.
It seems that a lot of writers, especially indie writers, are uncomfortable messing with another indie writer’s money. Karma’s a bitch, right? Better safe than sorry…
Still, reviews are a form of social proof, and we’re more likely to buy something with a ton of reviews — even bad reviews — than we are to try something no one else has bothered to try.
It just remains to be seen whether writers think they have an objective place where they can wear both hats, or if being a writer himself/herself has tainted the lens when they read a book.
As one writer argues:
“I’m not saying NOBODY should give bad reviews; I’m just saying: as writers ourselves, maybe we should just stay out of it.”
Or, as someone compared it:
Would you yell at a co-worker in front of a client?
If you do it, do it with love…
At the end of the day, a book isn’t like a regular consumer product on Amazon; it is more opinion-based, so you don’t always need to be purposefully cruel under the guise of being kind (at least not in public)!
Saying nothing at all may be your choice so as not to hurt anyone, but it also means you are choosing to not help anyone.
So, writers, if you do decide to switch hats and bang out a review for something that ruffled you the wrong way…
Be honest, but kind and constructive.
Think:
How would you like someone to phrase it if it was a review for your book? What can you commend, instead of just rip apart? How would their phrasing it help you to improve?
If the author is worthy of the label, he or she should be able to spin that bitter lemonade into something amazing, later on.
And assuming the writer hasn’t produced UTTER trash, his/her fan base will rise up one day and outweigh the negative reviews.
Now that I can say I’ve finally, at long last, published a novel, my thoughts circled back to this TED talk by Chimamanda Adichie, one of my favourite pieces on writing.
While her focus is on the danger of the “single story”, the part that resonated with me most was at the beginning — the conundrum of writing and representation.
I experienced a similar childhood to this prolific Nigerian writer.
My father loves literature, and he would give me books by Trinidadian V.S. Naipaul… but for the most part, the books I was reading were by authors like Enid Blyton (UK) and Judy Blume (US).
In them, there was no abuse; no abject poverty; no cringing shame of one’s existence beyond tepid teenage angst.
It was a nicer world than what Trinidadian and Caribbean literature had to offer me.
Write what you like to read…?
And so, when I wrote (and I wrote a LOT as a child), I wrote for a US/UK audience. I wrote things I liked to read.
US/UK influences more dominant in high/secondary school texts
Teachers were thrilled I wrote; many children struggle to string a sentence together. So they didn’t care what I wrote…
The cultural references were rich; but notably, one key theme was the American influence on the country’s geography and economy, and on the main characters.
It felt familiar, but still foreign enough.
Now as an adult, I have a much greater appreciation for Annie John.
Exquisitely “local”
I also still love A Brighter Sun along with another popular Sam Selvon one: The Lonely Londoners (about the Windrush generation settling in the UK), which also had a theme that straddled that fine balance between “familiar” and “foreign”.
This is not to say I don’t like books that feel completely local — one of my faves of all time is Roslyn Carrington’s A Thirst For Rain, and I also loved most of the collected short stories in Trinidad Noir.
So… I enjoy reading both local and foreign texts. There’s that.
The problem is, I’m not just a reader; I’m a writer.
Write where you come from?
As a writer, your personal preferences and tastes are called into question. In my case, the foreign education that seeped into my local experience resulted in a displacement of self.
I’m also of the generation whereby the Internet and mass media suddenly heaved a heap of influence onto youth at the most critical time of their personal development.
In my house, local and foreign influences lived side by side; and as a young adult I’ve also lived abroad.
So, all in all, I’m not sure if I’ve had the “typical” Trinidadian experience to be able to comfortably, naturally, unthinkingly write something similar to the “local” or “regional” books I do happen to enjoy.
Diaspora writers; local meets foreign
Does that make me less of a “Trinidadian” writer (as I’ve stated in my official bio on my first published novel, on my website, and just about everywhere?)…
Despite being part of the burgeoning diaspora, she managed to produce a novel that straddled the divide so well, that Canadian, UK, and Caribbean schools used it for the school curriculum! Wow!
…But then, this was in 1988. It’s now 30 years later.
How likely would this feat be now, in today’s world?
If they, too, identify with that internal war, what does the future hold for generations to come, with even more and more foreign media influences?
I, myself, struggle to begin to write a “Trinidadian” or “Caribbean” novel.
I have managed to write some short stories and poetry/prose like this one, once: Big Tune.
Local writers; international audience
Even then, I wanted to call it “Big Chune” (local parlance)… but I stopped myself.
That’s the other worry — the more “local” I make it, the less it would appeal to (or be understood by!) an international audience.
That’s essentially what happened when foreign reviewers came across Robert Antoni’s “How To Make Photocopies in the Trinidad & Tobago National Archives” (included in Trinidad Noir).
I absolutely LOVED this short story.
However, if I wasn’t born and bred in T&T, well God help me!… there’s very little chance I would have understood more than a few words!
Representation & Placelessness
Is a local author obligated to “write” local?
Generally, I don’t “place” my stories. My first published novelleft out “place” entirely…
But now that I am older, and even more so now that I’ve decided to publish my writing, it is no longer good enough just that I write, but now it’s become an issue of what I write.
American and British writers can claim their heritage openly without hesitation, and can write (more or less) anything they please about any part of the world… and no one questions it.
But when you’re from a small part of the world that hardly anyone knows about… well, you’re expected to write about your unique experience of this small part of the world, right?
I have to represent Trinidad; I have to represent the Caribbean; I have to represent the developing world. I mean… shouldn’t I?
However, when you go to actually publish something, you’re forced to choose genres, and then “romance” ends up being my default fall-back option.
But I don’t write romance.
A typical romance has two single characters that squabble for no damn good reason for a few hundred pages, and wind up lip-locked or in bed by the end (depending on how “Christian” the author is — no pun intended 🙂 ).
Now, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my fair share of this stereotype, with their page-turning, swashbuckling heroes and heroines… but I just can’t write that. I don’t want to write that.
My Hart & Cole characters are married, with kids. Their day-to-day lives and dialogue make up 75% of the story. This isn’t the typical romance — but about what happens AFTER the “I do”. There’s no “for-sure” happy ending.
That’s because I don’t write romance. I write relationships. I write people.
And, once you decide that you write people, anything can happen.
My series can become anything I want it to.
I’m the writer. I get to decide how far into the light or how deep into the darkness I want to go.
You, the reader, only get to decide if to follow me there.
Don’t read my book if…
…But, if you like reading fantasy, or sci-fi, or action, or horror… for God’s sakes, don’t read my book. You won’t find any of that there!
My “idea” of my typical reader (I could be wrong) is a young to middle-aged woman who likes watching TV dramas, appreciates an easy-to-read novel with a simple plot and loads of dialogue, can tolerate a little cursing (okay, okay — a lot, by some characters!), enjoys a love-making scene that isn’t totally pornographic/erotica, and — most importantly… likes characters that are real people, and inherently flawed.
So, if you’re my audience, WOOHOO!
But… if you’re not, that’s okay too. If you know you like reading those other genres, and that’s all you like, then don’t read my book just because you want to say you’ve read it!
I appreciate the support, but give it willingly with an open mind! 🙂
And, remember… there are other ways to support your “writer friend” without enduring reading a book you know you won’t like!
We live in a shareable world driven by social media influencers, and amidst the cacophony of noise, any little nudge will help.
Or, if you’re not on social media, no prob… you can do the old-school version of this. Drop it into a convo: “Hey, so my friend published a novel…” Yeah, it’s that simple.
So, if my book isn’t your cup of tea, but you do know someone who fits the bill, just spread the word!
It’s available. ANYONE can get it, ANYWHERE in the world. On ebook or paperback. It’s OUT THERE.
I’m excited. I’m thrilled. But more than anything, I am, in a word… TERRIFIED.
I’m fortunate to be able to say I’ve accomplished a lot of great things in my life, but still — just being able to push that “Publish” button, and open the whole wide world to a piece of my mind… it’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever had to do.
I’m not kidding when I say I’ve been sitting on this book for over a decade and a half. It’s the first book I wrote for adults — and I began writing it when I was just at the cusp of being one myself, in 2002! I finished it somewhere around 2003-2004 or so, and then… I sat on it.
Well, I shared it with a few friends and family via email or hard copy, and I shared excerpts at Writers’ Guild at my uni, Lancaster University. And, that was it.
It just sat there.
Half a dozen times, I looked into publishing — more specifically, self-publishing — but I didn’t follow through. Back then, self-publishing was practically unheard of.
By 2011-2012, e-readers became ubiquitous. I regained interest in self-publishing, and fine-tuned the blurb.
It took awhile to cut it down to something that could easily capture what the book is about, without giving too much away.
Then… I sat on it some more.
The Perfect Cover
Around 2015, I felt the urge again to get back on this project, so I looked into getting a cover done.
I asked two graphic designer friends who, separately, took forever to produce nothing.
I love them still, though… and as one of them (who hadn’t read the book) scolded me:
“This is YOURS. You can’t leave it up to me to create your cover. YOU know what it needs to look like.”
Damn right.
I found this to be even truer and more relevant, when I found a professional (read: “a stranger, with a deadline, who was actually getting paid“) to do the cover, via the freelancer site Fiverr. Her first draft was awful.
I can’t blame her for that though — she didn’t know me, or my characters. But once I gave her some guidance, she delivered.
The first draft (left)… awful. She soon redeemed herself though (right)!
I had to find the photos myself — which took eons to stumble upon the main “perfect” one, and the others from which to sample.
Then, I told her how I wanted it edited — mainly, my character needed more hair. Lots of it: curly, wild, crazy hair.
I know graphics… so I know you need to be talented to be able to work with human hair! I love the final product, and I’ve used the same designer again for my Book 2 cover.
But I knew, while I was fretting and taking — quite literally — years to do a book cover!… I knew that my first book cover, my first foray into the Hart & Cole series, my Book 1 covergirl, my “Nicole” (and you get this sense of entitlement, of protective ownership about “your” characters) is mixed-race, sexy, and vulnerable.
The cover has to say all of that.
Hopefully, it did.
Getting the cover done was a huge step that propelled me the rest of the way.
I made it the screensaver/background on my phone, so that I looked at it every day — constantly, until it pissed me off that I kept seeing it and hadn’t published it yet!
Where & How to Self-Publish
Then, I did my research.
Amazon is a great publishing platform. There are LOADS of others. I chose Amazon because of its popularity. There are drawbacks, but nothing that was a dealbreaker for me.
The one thing I did find in my research worth mentioning (which many, many, many people stand by, if you are serious about being a writer) is that you should get your own ISBN.
It took me quite a bit of running around to figure this one out, and after contacting international and then regional agencies, I found out Trinidad & Tobago has our own ISBN agency in the National Public Library.
So, ISBN purchased, I had no excuse now.
All that was holding me back was myself.
I proofed my book again several times on-screen — adding comments to its PDF version with Adobe Acrobat Reader, then making the edits in Microsoft Word, and then again while I was creating the e-book version through Kindle Create.
Then, I printed hard-copy proof copies through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing and when they arrived in the mail, I proofed those several times yet again.
Proof copies – glossy/white & matte/cream… my final choice was a combination!
I chose between a range of template sizes for the book; here are some awesome tools to get what you need: KDP Manuscript Templates and KDP Cover Templates. I played around with glossy and matte covers, and white and cream paper.
Tip: White paper is a little thinner, so the cover template will be off-balance if you sized it for cream paper! (I learned this the hard way!)
I eventually settled on a glossy cover, with cream interior paper.
And, each time I printed it, I proofed it for errors yet again.
I’m sure if I proof it another time, I’ll still find things I want to change.
But…
At some point, you need to let go.
You need to let go of your characters, so that you can share them with others.
And, most importantly: you need to let go of that fear of failure.
Publishing — overcoming that fear to hit that “Publish” button — is still just only one tiny step to becoming a writer.
I’ve said it before, and it’s my professional motto: “I Write. It’s What I Do.”
I literally can’t remember a time when I wasn’t writing. As soon as I could hold a pencil, I had stories to share, things to say, things that needed to be said.
I have poems and stories and random snippets of things from kindergarten, elementary/primary school, high/secondary school, both universities, all years of employment — some creative fiction, some poetry/prose, some personal brain-dump diaries.
Some of it has been or will be published in some form — whether it’s a book on Amazon like my Hart & Cole series, poetry or short stories on my The Writinkwebsite, or even just a simple Facebook post — but most of it is scattered in copybooks stashed somewhere in my cupboard, or in draft emails/posts dangling out in cyberspace.
Or, most importantly: knocking about in that cranial space between my ears where magic sometimes happens.
Even if I don’t share it all (I think I’d exhaust the universe with the sheer force of all the words), I have been writing… forever.
A Writer vs. Someone Who Writes
So yes, I write. It’s what I do.
But don’t misinterpret the motto. Writing’s not just “a thing” I do. Writing is an identity. A writer is just as distinct as a sexuality, a gender, a religion, a nationality.
A writer’s mind is sticky, cavernous. It is a locus of constant invention and generation, but also of deconstruction and warfare.
And:
A writer understands the capacity for words to embolden, to eviscerate, to cut a man in half. A writer’s words have texture and an aesthetic – they mean one thing on paper and another in your mouth.
For me, it’s a little something like that. I think writers see the world differently. I think writers see wordsdifferently. For a writer, a word is a living, breathing organism.
Words: A Love Affair
Do you know what’s beautiful about words?
Unlike math or science, no formula will produce the exact same result twice.
The synapses, the cognitions, the connections, may ricochet and interact…
But imitation is its own flattery that cannibalises itself.
Genre notwithstanding, no two writers can independently produce the same piece.
In fact, no one writer can produce the same piece with significant lapse of time and memory.
No — each piece owns its own emotion, its own moment in time. The nuances, the perspectives. Each is a kernel in and of itself, a singular atom in spite of itself, a gem both in and out of its context.
The beauty of language, of words tumbling over each other to find their right places, of craft being created, to be witnessed by the eyes of others.
The simplicity of unpredictability is beautiful.
…Even though it’s scary, sometimes…
To put pen to paper and discover what pours forth from the intricacies of the festering mind…
