A horrifically true memoir of the evil that lives within the “ties that bind” a family

This was my forty-eighth book I chose via the Reedsy Discovery program, for which I am the single approved reviewer for this new book. This review also appears on Reedsy.

If you’re interested in becoming a Reedsy reviewer (and have the chance to get paid “tips” to review books!) check it out here.

The Premise

This true story is the author’s memoir of her life, primarily aspects between 1967 and 1971, before women had reproductive rights — her attack by a serial murderer, physical abuse in her family home that led to a coma, a beating by a rapist, a gang-rape attempt, and molestation under the influence of a date-rape drug. Later in life, she realised that these incidents were not random — they were intentional, and callously executed by the people closest to her whom she trusted. Through it all, her faith in God helped her to survive and find forgiveness.

The Pros & Cons

This was a horrifically true memoir of the evil that lives within the “ties that bind” a family.

I read this in one night, and I am still in shock days later — and absolutely horrified that it was a true story.

Told in a matter-of-fact tone that highlights events rather than emotions, we nevertheless feel every emotion that Jackie goes through. She was always treated as an outcast within her family because she was an “unplanned mistake” although her parents were married and already had a daughter. They had had an agreement with her grandmother not to have any more children at that time, and so her grandmother doted on her sister but ignored her completely.

The root of her family’s discontent towards Jackie seemed to be her ambition, as she was hardworking and focused her energy on developing a career rather than simply settling to be just a wife and mother. Jackie made major strides in the tech world, even presenting at Oracle’s national convention alongside Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison; she was also recognised as the “mother of pet invention” for the safety product she developed for dogs, and she was granted four patents, among other noteworthy accomplishments.

This ambition seemed to irritate everyone around her. The abuse began as a very young child, and ranged from neglect — her father choosing to save her sister’s life rather than try to save her — to outright disregard: her brother’s attack that hit her between the eyes almost killed her, but no one even noticed she was in a coma, and even later they did not seem concerned for her health or her education that was adversely impacted.

There were also deeply engrained layers of emotional abuse, with her mother even openly admitting to favouritism:

“I just love her more than I love you. I can’t help it.”

“Your sister and brother are weak, so we must take care of them. You’re strong, so we don’t need to do anything for you. You go out and get everything you want before we even know you want it.”

Alongside her experiences, the developing sociopolitical changes in women’s reproductive rights and workplace discrimination policies shape Jackie’s life, and we clearly see the ways these can drastically affect someone. From the employer who tried to fire her because she was trying to get pregnant (but couldn’t when she actually did get pregnant), to the horrific actions of her family members to conspire to get her pregnant via a rapist — these shocking real-life recounts leave an indelible impression on the reader.

Another heart-wrenching moment was her mother’s financial abuse of her, literally robbing her when they shared ownership of a home that Jackie helped her parents to buy — out of the goodness of her heart, despite how badly she had always been treated!

Throughout all of this, it was Jackie’s faith that kept her going and striving to succeed, after having had an enlightening experience as a teenager. Thankfully, in her darkest moment, she was saved:

“So you want to kill yourself? Why would you want to do that? You’re one of the good guys. If you want to kill anyone, you should kill one of the bad guys.”

…And thankfully, she didn’t kill or take out her anger on the “bad guys” (who deserved so badly to suffer!) but she survived to tell the tale, and to use her experiences to uplift others.

Conclusion

I am honoured to have gotten the chance to read the memoir of this amazing woman. I admit at times that I felt the narrator was unreliable, but only because I simply couldn’t believe the horror she faced from those closest to her who were supposed to love and protect her. I feel forever changed by this story, and so blessed to have chosen this to read. I would love to learn more about the author and all that she has contributed to the world despite it all, and I look forward to reading anything else she writes.

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