An inspiring, empowering self-help guide to surviving and thriving after divorce 

This was my thirty-seventh book I chose via the Reedsy Discovery program, for which I am the single approved reviewer for this new book. This review also appears on Reedsy.

If you’re interested in becoming a Reedsy reviewer (and have the chance to get paid “tips” to review books!) check it out here.

The Premise

Picking up the pieces after the dissolution of her marriage, the author pens her account of her lessons learnt. Tracing her own self-development and evolution to independence, she offers guidance to others to embark on their journey in their new status of being single.

The Pros & Cons

This was an inspiring, empowering self-help guide to surviving and thriving after divorce.

Combining eloquent prose with memorable quotes, powerful affirmations, and guided tasks of mindfulness, the author weaves her own experience into a springboard to help others who may find themselves in a similar situation.

The book covers a broad range of topics — grief, depression, therapy, family relationships, mental health, financial ruin, dating post-divorce, and much more. It also has anecdotes of her personal experience, for instance: being caught unawares about managing the affairs of her car, immediately post-divorce, because her ex had always handled it; and losing the in-laws and mutual friends that had been such a big part of her life.

I liked that she still maintains that her ex was her best friend, and absolutely loved the way she defended him when another man put him down — this was awe-inspiring, and so important to see: even though we may not still be in love with someone, the bad times do not make the good times invalid.

It was also notable that she mentions that friends and family only want to see you happy and move on — though your circle may be supportive, they cannot really understand what you are going through unless they have experienced it themselves; the “divorce club” you belong to may consist of strangers rather than your closest loved ones. I also liked her mention of one key lesson learnt — that she must learn to be a better partner; and her expressed irritation at those who guilt you with “think about the kids” and foist “marriage counselling” onto everyone as a solution to everything, thinking “you just didn’t try hard enough” when in reality, at times it may only prolong the inevitable: all marriages are not worth saving.

I found the quotes interspersed throughout to be insightful, and some of these are great take-aways that resonated with me:

Being single is significantly better than being in a marriage that eats away at your spirit.

The real tragedy would be wasting your pain. Use those tears to fuel your drive to create an extraordinary life.

I used to live our life. Now I live mine.

Conclusion

Though I myself have not personally endured the agony of divorce, I found this book useful and a valuable resource for anyone going through a difficult relationship. It can also be read as a cautionary tale for those who are single or about to embark in a serious commitment or marriage; a reminder to ensure that you do not lose yourself in someone else, but learn to love yourself and thrive on your own. I would highly recommend to other readers, and look forward to other books by the author.

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