Review: “I Write the System: To Fight The System So I Might Right The System”
A moving, heartbreaking, and triumphant memoir of an intersex journey to adulthood
This was my forty-second book I chose via the Reedsy Discovery program, for which I am the single approved reviewer for this new book. This review also appears on Reedsy.
If you’re interested in becoming a Reedsy reviewer (and have the chance to get paid “tips” to review books!) check it out here.
The Premise
Operated on at birth and raised and conditioned to believe he was female, Jymi experienced many struggles while being dependent on the system that abused him. He recounts his childhood experiences, and inspirational stories to balance the trauma and struggles.
The Pros
This was a moving, heartbreaking, and triumphant memoir of an intersex journey to adulthood.
The author always felt like he did not belong in his own skin:
I wasn’t a regular girl. I knew that.
From early childhood, he experienced severe bullying and emotional neglect, which made him feel suicidal:
They made fun of me every chance they had. I was a punching bag for their insults. […] I was picked on left and right. Kids blew spitballs at me all day every day, and harassed me with sexual gestures and notes with threats. […] I’d come home from school crying every single day, but my mom was always on the phone with her friends and I was an annoyance and a stress to her. […] Between the combination of everything changing so much, going through a puberty that was making me into something I didn’t wanna be and wasn’t ready for, and then being emotionally tortured every day by my teacher and all my peers, I lost hope. I broke. I stopped being a child.
Even when other adults recognised his need for help and guided him towards therapy, he felt pressured by his family to “make them look good” or else he would be punished. He struggled with dyslexia, speech therapy, and trauma; and engaged in self-harm such as cutting. Fortunately, he found the outlet of writing, and this was his saving grace throughout many years of struggles that would follow.
The recount of depression and problems with substance abuse is balanced with dark flashes of humour: getting an A for a “report” he did on a book he entirely made up, prank-calling a woman pretending to be her husband’s lover, and more. Every nugget brings a rush of nostalgia for decades past, and it was an entertaining read despite the heavy subject matter. There are shocking moments as he explores his sexuality, interacts with others at a psychiatric hospital, has emotional discussions with his parents, finds out about being intersex, and experiences various types of abuse; and touching moments as he suffers the loss of loved ones and finds friendship and kinship in the company of others.
The style of writing is engaging as it feels like you’re chatting with a friend, though there are moments that seem to be a bit scattered and distracted with abrupt bits (much like such a conversation with a friend). Also, as the memoir covers such a long period of the author’s life, it was at times challenging to keep track of everything in terms of the people, places, and the chronological timeline of events; still, it is definitely worth the effort to follow along to learn about his whole truth.
Conclusion
Overall, this was a moving memoir that will touch many readers, and one that will stay with you for awhile! Trigger warning: there are some serious issues here that will be painful to read, so it is not for the faint of heart. The relationships are intense and at times soul-crushing, but throughout it all there is a rising tide of triumph — of survival, of faith, of the eternal battle for self-love. This was a great read and I would highly recommend to others, particularly among the LGBTQIA+ community. I thank the author for the time and effort to compile these painful memories into something that can connect with others and make a significant impact on their lives.
