I recently did an interactive reading of “Climbing The Walls“, Book 1 of my “Hart & Cole” series, with Saga’s co-founder Pranika Sharma on the segment “Hearing It Out Loud”.
This excerpt we chose is the introduction of Nicole’s boss Darren Hart — my favourite character. You’ll hate him in Book 1, but I promise you’ll love him eventually!
Check out the video!
I was thrilled to finally get a chance to talk at length about my “Hart & Cole” series with Saga’s co-founder Aakriti recently on “The Author Tells”.
We talked about everything from the conceptualisation of the series, my writing process, my favourite characters, key themes in the series, and much more! Check out the video!
As of October 1st, 2021, my first book “Climbing The Walls” is LIVE on the Saga app — exclusively (e-version).
That’s right. I hit “Unpublish” on Amazon. That’s a HUGE step for any writer, but I did it.
I took a leap of faith in a new start-up company run by young book lovers. Saga Fiction is India’s foremost mobile fiction app, which handpicks the best of feel-good stories and contemporary fiction, bringing to you an undeniable reading experience with serialized fiction, mini novellas, and page-turning novels.
“Climbing The Walls” was converted into 58 “episodes” (each around 1000-3000 words, depending on how chapters/breaks fell) and 10 seasons with 5-7 episodes each. Episodes will be releasing daily over the next 2+ months, so you can enjoy it in “bite-sized” chunks!
As part of this process, I did a huge edit yet AGAIN to crunch my book down, and I think it’s much better for it.
I’ve had this book around since I was a teenager myself… 15+ years ago was its first iteration, so you can imagine! Obviously my writing has matured since then, and I’ve needed some distance to *really* be able to edit it, and of course the loving hands of the Saga team to guide me as to what could and should be cut.
This version may be the first that many readers see, as I’ve been terrible at marketing it so my books haven’t had a huge audience just yet. Not totally a bad thing though… I’m glad this refined version is the one that many will first read!
I’ve also been really excited to dive into the Saga marketing strategies — from video trailers to introduce my characters to “What Would You Do?” scenarios, to my own Insta stories (which I hope I’ll find time to post)! I’ve also done interviews with the Saga team on “The Publishing Dialogue” and will soon do “The Author Tells” segment where I’ll finally get to talk about my characters! Haha!
I’m loving my Saga experience thus far. I can’t speak to the financial side just yet, but it’s been a pleasure to work with people who love your book babies and treat them with care!
Far too many companies that allow readers to contribute stories have zero to little support for their authors and barely have a hand in the content it spins around, but I’ve had quite a deep dive into my books so that what I release is something I’m proud of — and something I can take away at the end of the experience, so for me the risk is worth it.
My main goal is for my books to get a wider audience, and I’m thrilled to introduce my characters to the world because they SO deserve it!
If you are interested in becoming a writer for Saga, be sure to check out their website and see what it takes!
AND of course you should download the app ASAP so you can start reading my book baby “Climbing The Walls” and much more!
So, I now have a third — that’s right, THIRD — major re-edit of Book 1 of my series…
LOL. It feels like I’ll never stop working on that pesky first pancake!
I recently signed an exclusive contract with Saga, an Indian publishing company, for my entire series to be converted into an episodic format for their upcoming mobile fiction app.
That’s right… you heard me… exclusive. That means *GULP* taking it off of Amazon, for a specific period. (I’ll let you know how that goes!)
But this entire transition onto the app meant that the Saga folks did a deep-dive into my series and gave some good suggestions (mainly — to chop out some bits) so I took it to heart and did a significant overhaul.
Mind you, I’m an awesome editor in my own right… I do, after all, make a living at this… but you can’t, you just CAN’T edit yourself!
In the case of “Climbing The Walls“, it meant entire flashback scenes and minor plot points disappeared entirely, a few scenes were rewritten to cover up those gaps, and then minor snipping to cut every stray word.
Sounds crazy that I still had so much to cut, but it was a cathartic process to get the book down to a now much less unwieldy tome. At around 110,000 words, it’s definitely — and finally — in its right word count bracket.
Litrejections say 80,000-110,000 and JerichoWriters say 75,000-110,000 for women’s fiction, Reedsy suggests 80,000-110,000 for commercial and literary fiction, so I’m just squeezing in under the limit there!
My first draft of this novel was over 15 years ago, so it’s understandable that I’ve grown a lot as a writer since. The problem is that I was stuck in my head with who my characters were, and tried to get it all in. With considerable distance, and fresh editorial eyes on this masterpiece of mine, it’s finally where it should be.
Another piece of good news (to me) is that my entire series will get new covers.
I love my covers, but I have to admit that they may not be on-genre. Purple and black suggest erotica (apparently) as I learnt! And while there are sexy elements to my stories, that’s not the main theme.
I have no idea what the new covers will all look like, but I’m looking forward to a change.
The first one is done and it is a distinct shift from the past!
Just like the words themselves, I’m stuck in my own head with the cover. Even when I updated the cover of Book 1, it looked similar!
I have to let go and let someone else make some decisions, for a change.
I’m excited about my new partnership, as I know it’ll reach markets I have no hope of reaching on my own with my limited finances.
But I’m also scared of giving up control.
Being a writer is about playing God with a universe you create.
Tacking on a publishing house’s name to my own production company is, in a word… frightening!
But I’m game.
I’m also emotionally exhausted with marketing my own books, and for this year to date, I have made most of my income from NON-novel-writing work! I’ve taken on proofing/editing, content copywriting, beta reading, critiquing, even doing a book synopsis for a fellow author — among a slew of editorial work and freelance clients.
So screaming my book from the mountaintops… yeah, I just don’t have the energy or time to do it anymore. I need to let someone else take the reins — at least, for a little bit, while I focus on the financial stuff through other means. Hopefully I can use some of that to feed back into my own promotions eventually, but for now I’m willing to just sit and wait and see how things go with Saga.
Wish me luck!
That’s right. Some crazy person, two years ago, put a book launch on her birthday!
At the time, I thought: “Hey it’d be nice to get reviews streaming in to brighten my day…”
In retrospect, I was f$#$#$@#$#@king busy all day long, and exhausted by the time I got a chance to read my reviews!
In the self-published world, authors wear a million hats. From figuring out mail-out campaigns, to formatting a dozen book files, to booking promos and doing blog tours, it takes a toll.
I’m not sure I’ll want to book anything on my birthday again, BUT for the moment I’m just glad to share the special day with my Book 2.
Now, onto the good stuff!
In honour of its birthday, I’m running a book promotion for only $0.99/£0.99.
This is Book 2 of my “Hart & Cole” series. Though I recommend for readers to start with Book 1, you can get right into the meat of the series with Book 2.
Darren’s and Luisa’s marriage is volatile.
This is a soul-crushing, visceral, emotional read.
If you can handle it, grab a copy now for only 99 cents!
Secondly… TODAY’S THE DAY!!!!!! Woot! Book 1 is properly out, launched and everything!
The best part of Book 1’s relaunch is that I’m now so happy with this book leading the pack.
Because… you know what?
My series is AWESOME! My characters are AWESOME.
I love my book babies. I’m SUPER PROUD of them. I’m super proud of myself for actually bringing them to life.
I hereby declare… I’m AWESOME!
If you’re looking for a heart-wrenching gut-punch of a romance read, go grab Book 1 and dive into the whole series. And be sure to leave me a REVIEW once you’re done. These little nuggets of encouragement (or even criticism!) are writers’ crack and we are junkies for it! ??????
The pre-order is now live and available here on Amazon in time for the release on January 1st, 2021. I’m also just about ready with the print version, which I’ll publish in a few days. Here’s the new trailer:
I’m excited. I know it’s a bit silly to be excited over a book that I’ve already published, but it’s been quite a journey.
“Climbing The Walls” was my “first pancake”.
The first launch was in July 2018, so the January 1st, 2021 date will be about 2 and a half years since I first became a published author! Crazy, right? Where did the time go?
I’ve learnt a lot since then, and spent months in writer agony wondering if I’d made a huge mistake.
In retrospect, I finally admitted to myself that I may have gone a little gung-ho on the first pancake. I was so excited about the process of FINALLY publishing the book I’d been sitting on for so many years, that I didn’t research and fully understand the market beforehand.
The result was an epic book that — though many readers LOVED, they did comment that it was a bit long-winded.
Took me awhile, but I finally decided to give the people what they want.
I chopped it down from 550+ pages to 385, the exact length of the other two in the series. And since I’m anal, I’m pretty sure that length (385 for print) is going to be my set point for other books going forward.
It’s a nice balance to get you DEEP into the characters’ emotions, without taking up your entire week or more to wade through.
And I’m proud of my new, sleek book baby.
It’s the same book but just so much better, now that I looked at it with a critical writer’s eye and decided to CHOP, CHOP, CHOP!
I’m still sorting out some of the last-minute hiccups over the next couple of weeks, so it’ll be a quiet launch. I still need to unpublish the old one, and link the new one to the series, and transfer my reviews.
I also haven’t booked any promos or book tours as yet, but all of that in time to come.
After initial feedback about the book length, I held myself back from promoting it in some avenues since some bloggers couldn’t commit to reading it. So now I’m a lot more comfortable offering up the shorter version for their enjoyment.
Hell, I’m a lot more comfortable offering up the shorter version for my OWN enjoyment.
Overall, I’m super-pleased I decided to do this. It was an epic job to whittle down my first “book baby” to a sleek, no-fluff new edition that will now be leading the series, but I’m so glad I did.
I’m also thrilled with the new cover, which now has more in common with the rest of the series and also gives away more of what the book is about.
And, of course, I’m also adoring the miracle that I was able to pack in the same story but in a much shorter length.
I’ve grown so much as a writer since I first hit “Publish”. This new book is like a brand new me.
No regrets.
Much love to any fellow writers out there who are knee-deep in the “REVAMP” of an already-published book baby. It takes even more out of you than the first version! Keep your head up, and love yourself enough to grow and adapt.
You need to love your writer self, you need to love your stories, and you need to own your book babies.
For me, the best part of this experience is that now that I’m more comfortable with Book 1, I can finally, finally FINALLY settle down and focus on NEW books in the series. I’m hoping Book 4 will see the light of day by 2021.
In the meanwhile, if you haven’t read “Climbing The Walls” as yet, or you enjoyed it and you’re in the mood for a re-read, be sure to check it out. Pre-order for January 1st, 2021!
There’s something about that sentence that has a huge sigh of relief accompanying it. It’s a big step. Something’s happening.
Well, in my personal life, not a lot has been happening, as my health issues have taken priority.
But I’m recuperating… just in some pain, with very little movement, and far too much time to reflect.
I’ll be off work for a few weeks. I’ll be off “super-mommy duty” for a few weeks.
I can’t hold my baby. That’s a sobering thought.
But there is a good side to all of this, and I will emerge from this “downtime” better for it.
I should use this time for something positive. I should use this time to RESET.
Book 1’s revamp has me in that “reset” mode, and I’m trying my best to hit that “reset” button soon.
Over the past month, I’ve made some pretty big steps, even though they may not have felt like it at the time.
Here are a few worth mentioning:
Now, that isn’t nearly everything that’s needed for a launch. It’s just a few tiny steps towards that day. But I’m taking it one thing at a time.
I gave myself a nice long lead time because I know it’s a zillion small things, and it’s just little old me.
Some writers — even the self-published ones like me — have an entire team to do all this small stuff.
Some do it on their own, but badly.
I’m trying to do it all, and trying to do it all WELL.
I’m fortunate to have some “extra” skills besides writing — being able to create a website, and do some design stuff, that is awesome. Many writers break the bank on this stuff.
I’m cheap, so by default I need to be up to the task of those “extras”!
Well, once I review the proof copy of the print version, I still have to take my time and create the e-version.
It’s always better to tackle that AFTER the print version is as clean as possible. I learnt this the hard way — when I used to fix every typo multiple times in many versions!
Once the e-version is ready, I can upload that to Amazon KDP, publish them both, and then market the hell out of it.
There are so many ways to throw money behind your book, if you have the budget and the time.
I’ll book a bunch of newsletters, flash it around every Facebook reader group I can find, run some promos, shout it from the rooftops.
Maybe I’ll try to get onto another podcast, like the one with Ella “Author Like a Boss”. Or another book review tour.
I’m exhausted just thinking about all of it.
I love the writing process, but the publishing process can be traumatising to your spirit.
And this time around, I have to remember my Author Footprint and revisit everywhere I’ve been to “update” it with my new version.
For the love of it.
Because I owe it to myself to have the story out there, the way I want it to be.
And because I’m ready to move on from Book 1, my first book baby, which took the most out of me.
I’m ready to evolve as a writer, to “republish” that new version that pained me to create. To grow up and realise that every book is its own entity, but sometimes you need to take a hit to your writer ego for the greater good.
Because here’s the thing… once I’m done with my revised Book 1, once that is out of the way, I can turn my attention on the unfinished stories in my head.
The unfinished characters, just waiting for me to revisit them.
Despite the physical pain and the emotional upheaval I’m going through now as my body and brain go through this much-needed process of healing, I know I need this “downtime” to refocus.
To do better.
To RESET.
I can’t believe it. Yup, my first book baby turned 2 years old recently, on July 28th.
In all fairness, I was hard-core for about 9 months after publishing, and then my zeal quickly tapered off when other life things took priority. So there’s been a long gap of doing very, very little writer-wise.
It took me awhile to get back to a project I had promised myself to do: editing and re-publishing Book 1 of my series, this time with a better plan for the re-release.
Well, for one thing, I didn’t become an overnight success with such an unwieldy tome.
Of course, publishing a novelette wouldn’t guarantee any more success, but I know that the size was off-putting to some readers — particularly book bloggers who have far too much on their plate to put that kind of faith in a new writer.
I’ve learnt so much since then, and grown so much as a writer even though I was “dormant” for part of the time.
I also read a lot, and found that there’s a sweet spot with reading — you want a book that feels like a full story, but doesn’t take over your entire life.
Honestly, nothing fundamental.
You’d think that cutting from 555 pages to 385 pages (170 pages) would change the entire direction of the story, since that length of the difference is more than some people write for an entire book!
But… no.
That’s the beauty of editing. If you’re really, really, good at it, it can be seamless enough so that it’s barely noticeable.
I’m a good editor. Scratch that. I’m a flipping fantastic editor.
Problem is: you should NEVER edit yourself. I know this, though I did it again anyway.
Maybe I’m a different person two years later, though. Certainly, reading it over two years later, I saw a lot of things that irked me because they could have been so less verbose.
First, I evened it out a bit. I collapsed chapters into each other that seemed natural to fit together, and then looked for super long ones and cut those.
I got rid of a lot of white space, knowing that my “first pass” would look tight and busy, but then I could keep cutting a line here or there in the final edit.
I just finished this “first pass” a couple days ago, so I still have more editing to do so that chapters don’t end without sufficient breathing room.
Layout is a slippery beast — you want to be on top of that.
And I write a lot of dialogue, so that’s what I cut. A LOT of it. Entire scenes of it. Or huge chunks of it. From everywhere. I gave myself rules as I went along, like:
…and so on.
If you’re disciplined like that, you’ll get there eventually.
It took me a few weeks altogether. I started when I was on my super-megatrip cruise vacation in April-May 2019, where I had loads of free time with long sea days across the Atlantic, so I managed to ditch the bulk of it at 80-100 pages.
Then a trickle here and there where I ditched a page here and a page there over the course of several months (pregnancy and a new baby is a fabulous excuse for procrastinating!), and then finally a last burst of a push from 411 to 385 in the last few weeks since I moved out from where I was living and into my new home where I finally have the mental peace to focus on writing again.
So… yeah. It’s been QUITE the journey, but I’m here.
My 555 debut book monstrosity is now slim and sexy and a measly 385 pages long.
Why 385, you ask?
Well, because that was the number I had settled on for my other two books — Pandora’s Poison and Pandora’s Price. At the time, I kept those two at the exact page count because it is meant to be a 2-part read. So it seemed like a good number to aim for with Book 1 as well.
Plus, 385 is that aforementioned “sweet spot” for me.
Now that I’ve hit my desired page count, it’s not over just yet. Here’s what still lies ahead:
I still have some more tightening to do to free up some white space for the print version. I ideally like my chapters to have at least a half or quarter page of breathing room in between. So there’s still quite a few lines to cut.
Once I’m properly there with the print version, I have to set everything up for the e-version. This is time-consuming and painstaking. I just hope I’ve remembered the steps to link the chapters and add the cover and a million more things.
I just commissioned it a couple of days ago. I’m so excited. I’m using a similar image (same woman, same photoshoot) but adding some elements to show what the story is about.
You need this once you significantly edit a book’s page count. I requested this yesterday and should get it by next week. Whoop.
Gosh, I hope they do. It would be a shame to lose them. I hope my edit still counts as the same book, to them. It would be painful to start from scratch.
Sayonara, sucker. Your new version is slimmer and sexier now.
Yeah, I’m not looking forward to this. This is the absolute worst part.
Currently targeting January 1st, so I have a few months to plan properly.
Sigh. Yeah. Did I mention I hate this part?
I’ve learnt so much since I first published, and grown so much as a writer AND as a person. I’ve learnt to rejoice in the triumphs of praise, and also to take criticism to heart to improve my craft.
In fact, I’d hoped to launch the revised, slimmer version of this book today, but that self-imposed deadline had to be pushed back. I’m not going to stress about it, though. I’ve got some personal battles going on lately, and right now I need to put “Sacha-the-person” ahead of “Sacha-the-writer”… and that’s okay.
I know that once I’m back to full steam, I’ll write something AMAZING again. Until then, I’m satisfied with what I’ve accomplished so far.
3 books in 8 months was a huge feat, and I’m thrilled to have actually made money from my writing… and so humbled that I have fans that appreciate my books, and are looking forward to reading more.
And this book is where it all started. So I’m SUPER proud of this first book baby.
She was my first. She made me a published writer.
So happy birthday, book baby! ??????????
I’m happy to say now that I felt my recent funk hugely lifted with the news that my first Author Interview Podcast aired! Here it is:
Thanks so much to Ella Barnard & Author Like a Boss!
Lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t want to write — which reminded me of earlier times in my youth where, as I shared on Instagram:
“I’ve been silent because I was afraid of what I would write if I did write.”
But writing has helped, and I know it’s saved me in the past and will again if I let it.
That said, listening to my interview was surprisingly uplifting.
As it was recorded a few months ago, it captured a different phase in my life just before my recent funk, and hearing my positive thoughts and these deep-set beliefs about the writing and publishing process was like… wow.
An interview captures a moment in time, a snapshot of your brain… and reviewing that at a different time can be enlightening.
And I do genuinely believe that every day I get to keep calling myself a writer, that’s a success.
I do genuinely believe that you have to set realistic, measurable goals and climb that mountain slowly and steadily to make sure you get there, and not just run up and tumble down in early defeat.
I do genuinely believe in that “reader high” I’ve left readers/fans with, and want to keep doing that. Which means I’ve got to keep writing.
One of the most pertinent things I said in the interview was about putting your plans one step at a time, rather than trying to see the whole picture all at once.
Get your blinkers on and put one task in front of you, and focus on that.
It’s a timely reminder for myself, because I need to do just that. I have a whole heap of tasks to do in terms of my writer life so I’m going to take my own advice and just tackle one thing at a time.
I’m getting out of my funk and putting my writer’s cap back on — and again thanks so much to Ella Barnard for my first podcast interview, which you can listen to here:
In my launch day post for “Book 2: Pandora’s Poison”, I mentioned that I’d learnt a lot since becoming a published writer, and the book length issue was a huge part of what I’d learnt.
It continues to plague me to this day…
Usually, once readers start in on the book, it doesn’t feel nearly as long as it really is. There is a lot — a LOT — of dialogue, so it’s easy to flip through scenes.
I know my writing style is on point when it comes to DIALOGUE. My characters feel real because of it. And there’s a lot of it, so it helps you to dive right in.
The problem is, when you’re a reader used to 200-300 page books, and you see a new author clocking in at 500+………. yeah, it’s a hard sell.
While I think my story is worth the long read, and most readers did enjoy it, quite a few harped on the length.
Some said they read every word, some said it discouraged them at first but then they didn’t care, some said it was long but kept their interest throughout, and there was the odd one or two that mentioned skipping ahead or that marked it down primarily for that, calling it “long-winded” despite being such a good story.
But even my amazing blogger who gave it a fabulous, thoughtful review (and who eventually ended up doing an Author Q&A with me because she loved the book so much)… well, even she mentioned, in a nutshell:
“Fabulous story, but it just takes so long to get there!”
The thing was… whether in a good or bad light… it was MENTIONED. It was a TOPIC. And THAT might be the issue here.
I’d love to ignore it and hope I’m one day famous enough to not care. After all, Stephen King can afford to suck his teeth at short-attention-span readers, but even he noted that he went way overboard at times and lamented some of his longer works as he grew as a writer.
You see, sometimes… you’ve just got to kill those darlings!
The problem is getting readers in the first place.
My book is already outside the genre norms as my characters aren’t “heroes and heroines” — fair enough. So, adding a super-long length on top of that… yeah, I’m just asking for trouble.
I recently ran a couple of marketing promo services and realised that bloggers preferred to simply promo the book rather than write a review… probably because of the length. So it feels like an uphill battle.
The thing is, I believe in the core of my soul that “published” means “published” and despite the ABILITY to do so, there’s only a small margin of what you really should “edit” once you hit that button.
So I’m still on the fence about cutting down Book 1.
It took me awhile to decide to “cut” my story into Books 2 & 3 and do some rewriting, but at least those weren’t published yet. Making a major change (like cutting 150 pages!) will require a LOT more effort.
I also have to consider what it would mean for future stories — as Book 1 had loads of minor characters with back stories since I knew I had plans for them later on. Sigh.
I don’t know if I have what it takes to “slim down” my first fat book baby. I’m glad that it is POSSIBLE, since I’m a self-published writer. And I know other indies do this ALL THE TIME.
But… still… sigh.
I guess part of it feels like… I’m a bit of a failure, if I have to go backwards and “FIX” my debut.
But… is taking this hit to my ego worth it, in the long run?
I myself don’t always look at book length before diving in. Most times, I just start reading and stop if my interest wanes. Usually, by 10% of whatever the length is, I’ll know.
But readers don’t all think like me. And some are voracious readers and have a very specific idea of what they’re looking for in a book.
Maybe I can’t hit ALL of their “wish list” items, but length can be a deterrent from the jump.
I guess it’s a little like thinking about planning a trip to Australia.
It looks great, I’m sure it’s great. Everyone who went tells me it’ll be great. But it’ll take me over an entire day to get there. So… I haven’t gone yet.
It’s not that I’ll NEVER go. I still WANT to go. I just don’t know when I’ll be prepared to make the trip. And in the meanwhile, I’m popping over to everywhere that’ll take me 12 hours or less…
And, if I’ve ALREADY gone to Australia or somewhere nearby (i.e. read another book by the same author) and I’m familiar with the journey, I’ll settle in and enjoy the 24+ hour trip, as I know exactly what’s coming.
Maybe I’m waffling on about “journeying” because my vacation is coming up and I’m excited! 🙂 But… well, you get the point.
A book is a journey. An unknown author is an unknown destination. So if the destination seems too far in the distance…
Yeah. You see where I’m going with this.
If it were a single one-off standalone, then I would be more comfortable just leaving it in its chubby unwieldiness.
But I’m writing a SERIES. And while you CAN go straight to Book 2, I don’t recommend it.
Most readers will want to start at Book 1. Yep: the fat book baby.
So if it’s an issue that’s going to plague me and all future books in the series… yeah. I have to give it some serious thought.
In the meanwhile, I’ll hold off on promo-ing Book 1 again until I’ve made a decision either way… but in the meanwhile…
Sigh.
A book isn’t a piece of software. I shouldn’t need to do “patches”. It’s a piece of art. It should exist, intact, once revealed to the public.
And I’m an overachiever perfectionist. I don’t do “failure” well. And going back feels like failure. Republishing feels like failure. Needing to have a “Version 2” feels like failure.
But is “failure” worth it, to succeed in the long run?
Can “going back” help me to “go forward”?…
We’re here. We’re at this point… yep, you’ve guessed it:
Today is the day BOOK 3 LAUNCHES!
Just a reminder — my first published book was released July 28-29, 2018. My second published book was released on January 22, 2019. So there was a good six-month window between Book 1 and Book 2, but only a couple of months until Book 3!
Yikes! So it’s been a helluva couple of months…
I set a high bar for myself with that two-month window between books, and I don’t recommend this to anyone!
I was cutting it VERY close to the deadline, made a crazy dash to do last-minute edits, and hardly had time to promote both the recently-released Book 2 and the upcoming Book 3! So both books suffered from the short timeline.
BUT I had my reasons. I have a semi-cliffhanger in between Books 2 & 3, so I didn’t want toooooo long of a wait, and I also really wanted to get those books out there as they’ve been around forever!
Book 1 was written over 15 years ago, and what eventually became Books 2 & 3 was finished since 2016! Now, it’s a long way from “finished writing” and actually “ready to publish” but YEARS is way too long.
I needed to get those books out there so I could focus on NEW stories, NEW characters!
I haven’t done much “net new” writing in YEARS, because these books occupied SO MUCH of my head space! I’ve revised and re-read and edited and WORKED so much on what I had, that I didn’t even feel possessed to work on stories that aren’t fully there yet.
So I’m really glad to have Book 3 PUBLISHED, LIVE, AVAILABLE, and most importantly — all its “production” is now OVER.
Now… I can actually, really WRITE.
Book 3 wraps up the first chunk of this series. I still have at least two more stories in me for this series — Bryan’s & Stacey’s which will be told in Book 4, and Gianni’s & Vicki’s which will be in Book 5 (not yet titled!). I haven’t figured out how it all ends yet, but I know that the MAIN story is done. Thank God.
The main story was Darren and Luisa… the affair that rocked EVERYTHING. It deserved two books, and I made sure it was PROPERLY told. It’s there. It’s out.
My Book 2 & Book 3 couple is a lot more complicated than Book 1’s. With Darren and Luisa, there’s SO much more. It is SO deep and was SO painful to write.
I’m really glad I ended up leaving it on a cliffhanger so readers could BREATHE between books. Because Book 3 moves SO FAST. There’s a natural break while the two main characters barely speak, but when Book 3 starts back up, it is RAW and goes DARK very, very fast. I repeat:
Book 3 is SWIFT. I’m warning you.
I did spend way more time FEELING my Books 2 & 3 characters, reliving scenes and retooling them. My writing is so, so, so much better by Book 3. I see myself. I am all over the place.
I am Luisa and her indecisive heart.
I am Darren and his desperate redemption.
I am Gianni and his quivering soul.
I am Kris and his eternal regret.
I am Nicole and her volatile seduction.
I am “Hart & Cole”.
They are all a part of me. I am a part of them.
They’re out there. All of them.
And this book is their culmination, for now. Their stories are told. FINALLY.
It’s today. It’s out there. It’s published. Woo-hoo!
Three published books, y’all. I’m a frickin’ WRITER, y’all!
(Now I need to stop boasting and hide in a corner and beg my Book 4 couple to talk to me!)
Get both parts of Darren’s & Luisa’s story now on Amazon:
Recently I had the honour of receiving one of my first blogger reviews, and it was SO awesome and I was SO thrilled and thankful she enjoyed my book and had such deep thoughts on it. Blogger reviews really are the holy grail of reviews!
Today, I’m so excited to be this blogger’s first author to do an Author Q&A!
People often ask me about the origins of my tales — particularly as I was always writing topics seemingly far removed from my own maturity and life experiences!
But perhaps they are all parts of lives lived before.
I can’t explain what happened in my past to bring my characters to live inside of me, but I try to sound eloquent about it.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have snagged the attention of a couple of bloggers recently with my debut novel “Climbing The Walls“.
Mind you, to date I must’ve emailed over 100 bloggers, with about a .0000000001% response rate, and then after sending my book to the few who DID respond… ***crickets***!!!
So I’m eternally humbled and grateful, and so thrilled that these two bloggers took the time and attention to lovingly describe aspects of my book that I myself couldn’t have written better.
I’ll share a few snippets here from my two recent reviews from:
While there are more verbose reviewers who write quite a bit, a typical review usually ranges anywhere from a one-liner to a few paragraphs and focuses on what the reader “liked” and “didn’t like” about the book.
A blogger’s review may do the same, but I’ve found most bloggers would go deeper and unpack the themes and issues they experienced while reading.
As a past Literature student who spent hours ripping apart themes of the books I studied, it’s such a weird and warm feeling to have that done to your own works, by bloggers who in their own right are writers themselves!
I love how Debjani’s review opens, with the line:
“We’re Kris and Nicole. We’re supposed to fit.”
This goes straight to the essence of the story — Kris and Nicole intended to defy all the nay-sayers by having the best relationship possible, and that quote from Nicole shows her insecurity in that moment of doubt where she feels so out of sync with Kris.
Similarly, Eileen also goes straight to the heart of the story:
“How much is too little, enough, or too much sex?”
Kris and Nicole, and their friends with whom they interact, are often talking about sex — which Kris and Nicole have loads of, sure, but it doesn’t make their marriage perfect. Behind closed doors, sex becomes a weapon or a mind game, and it’s the reason Kris has often buckled and gave in, against his better judgement.
Eileen brought up the important theme of friendship, and she was the first reader to zero in on that in her review:
“Are friendships outside of marriage ‘real’, or limited to what the other partner allows?”
Friendship is a key undercurrent theme of the series. Nicole, a sexy and promiscuous waitress prior to marrying Kris, has always struggled with female friendships, and finds more in common with her career-driven boss Darren. But male-female relationships get complicated fast, particularly when his own marriage is on shaky ground.
Kris is close to both men and women, primarily his coworkers Bryan and Vicki, and he also has a close friend from his past, J.J. His world and Nicole’s world don’t often collide in terms of friendships.
Notably, when they are struggling in their relationship, neither Nicole nor Kris initially reach out to confide in these “friends” — even Nicole, who has been hearing Darren’s marriage woes for months.
As these relationships all intertwine inextricably, it brings to the fore whether “friendship” is as important to either party, once their “relationship”/”marriage” begins, and which should take precedence.
I love that Eileen brings up the topic:
“Would marriages of the various couples in the book survive if they did not have young children to raise?”
This is a question I ask myself when writing, all the time.
When you first fall for someone — chemistry, fireworks, explosion — it’s not the same relationship you will have years down the line, when you have children and your days are preoccupied with school runs, dirty diapers, and chores.
For Darren and Luisa especially, the fact that they already had two kids surely would have impacted their decision to stay together despite her infidelity.
Those kinds of questions are at the heart of my genre I like to call “real-life” romance.
In my series, children are important, yes. And they get the best, cutest scenes! Debjani mentions:
“Fortuné’s writing is vividly descriptive. I could picture Kris planting a sloppy kiss on Kiki, his five-year-old precocious daughter’s forehead. I could also picture him kissing the two-year-old Khai’s chubby cheeks. Lastly, I could also picture Nicole watching all of them… from afar.”
It takes a lot for Nicole to eventually come to a point where she is really ready to surmount her own damaged past and make her family a priority.
And finally, we come to the overriding crux of the “Hart & Cole” series. As Eileen asks:
“What is forgiveness? Is adultery the worst crime in marriage, how do couples deal with it whenever one or both of them commit adultery?”
Adultery is everywhere throughout the book — Nicole’s parents’ relationship was fraught with it, Darren’s and Luisa’s marriage is tainted by it, and there are dashes of it everywhere you turn with other minor individuals and couples.
At the end of the day, a relationship isn’t often what it looks like on the outside, and it can be a daily battle just to maintain that façade among friends and family.
Eileen notes:
“Reading the book kept me reflective on issues of friendships in and out of marriage, parenthood, work and employment, and what it takes to live with another adult.”
And Debjani states:
“If you want to read a gritty, real, and raw romance novel, then pick up Climbing the Walls by Sacha T. Y. Fortuné. If you are married, then you are bound to glimpse a slice of your marriage in this book.”
It isn’t all hearts and rainbows, but there is a lot to unpack here, and a lot of love. Overall, the story of “Climbing The Walls” aims to show that adultery doesn’t happen in isolation, and there are no easy answers to how to cope with it.
I hope you’ve enjoyed my recap here. Be sure to read the two full blogger reviews, and check out their other book reviews on their sites:
Finally, the day is here!
It’s my birthday today, but that’s the least of my concerns.
Today is the day BOOK 2 LAUNCHES!
Now, my first published book was a whole six months ago (July 28-29, 2018). So it’s been quite some time bunkering down and absorbing all I can before my second book!
The first book was kind of like the first pancake. Not that it needed to be “thrown out” per se; just that it was the guinea pig.
I’ve grown so much as writer, as a marketing strategist — hell, as a human being! — since.
I didn’t know much at the time. I just knew that I had to PUBLISH THE DAMN THING, so maybe I rushed it a little.
Bear in mind, the draft existed for 15+ years. So the “rush” was really just to “publish” once I’d made up my mind to do it.
And I’m a perfectionist by nature, so even my “rushing it” probably isn’t everyone else’s “rushing it”.
Mind you, Book 1 was edited several times, had a great cover and a good blurb. Which is much more than I can say for many self-published books, so I’m proud I got at least that right (I hope)!
It looked professional, and I got great reviews so far.
Now, I know Book 1 is far from perfect. I love it, and readers did as well, but I personally wish it were significantly shorter — in fact, I managed to dock about 5 pages and re-upload it, post-publication!
But after doing that, I’ve told myself to just leave it alone. It’s out. It’s published. It survived. Move on.
It’ll never be perfect. And there’s no way I can realistically cut 100-200 pages and still tell the same story. There’s also no good point to chop that story in half, and then I’d need to rewrite and “fluff” far too much.
I need to accept that some books fall “outside” of genre norms, and my book just needs to be one of those.
So I’m moving on now, to Darren’s & Luisa’s story.
Book 2‘s & Book 3‘s couple is a lot more complicated than Book 1’s.
In Book 1, Kris and Nicole have one major issue in between them: she’s a workaholic, and he picks up the slack far too much with the kids; something’s got to give. With Darren and Luisa, there’s SO much more.
I loved writing their “early” scenes, when they were first falling in love.
I loved writing their “present – bad” scenes, when they’re sniping at each other.
I loved writing their “present – good” scenes, when they’re so tender.
…And that final scene (which bridges Book 2 & 3… OH MY GOD). Wait for it. Just wait for it.
Darren is a VERY difficult guy to love, but still Luisa can’t help herself. She also can’t help herself from feeling caught up in Gianni, who is the guy, as she says, that she “wants to want”.
The thing with Darren is that, as her friend Vicki puts it, early in Book 3:
“Darren Hart isn’t the rainbows and butterflies guy. He’s the one you call when you’re standing over the dead body with the murder weapon in your hand. You’re ridiculously lucky to have that guy. You can’t expect him to be the other kind.”
Even Luisa acknowledges this about him, many times. She’ll get the small-picture stuff from Gianni, but Darren is the big-picture guy. He’s always saving her, rescuing her, taking care of their family in the major ways that count.
That’s love.
When the chips are down, Gianni’s not the one who’s there. It’s Darren. It was always Darren.
You see, love doesn’t always look the way you expect it to look. That’s the lesson Luisa has to learn. And of course, she’s got to learn it the hard way!
So that’s Books 2 & 3 in a nutshell.
I should mention… Books 2 & 3 are way more emotional, way more steamy, way more provocative, way more profanity-laced, way more EVERYTHING than Book 1! I hope readers are ready!
I’m a little nervous that readers have to wait awhile for the HEA or HFN (Happily Ever After or Happy For Now), and that the semi-cliffhanger may leave them flinging Book 2 (physical copy or their device) at the wall!
But I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I KNOW it’s necessary. Apart from the obvious reason that the length is WAY too long for a single book (seriously — it would only be used as a doorstop!), you also need to take a break from this couple.
There’s a natural “break” between the two books because Darren and Luisa barely speak to each other for awhile. And a couple of months will be sufficient time to BREATHE before all the Book 3 action kicks off.
Book 3 is SWIFT. I’m warning you.
But anyway, I realise, as I look back at these three books, that I’ve matured as a writer.
Book 1‘s first draft was written when I was in my late teens, on the cusp of adulthood. I knew so little about relationships then! And still, I was writing such a story!
But Book 2 & even more so Book 3… yeah, I was a lot older and more mature by the time those rolled around.
My writing is better. I see myself in these books, more than Book 1.
And I’m ready to rip off the band-aid and expose Book 2 to the world.
It’s happening. It’s today.
It’s out there. It’s published.
I’m a little scared. *Deep breath*… here goes nothing.
I’m not kidding when I say, in my official Author Bio, that there’s a little bit of me in all the ‘Hart & Cole‘ women.
The photo — which I recently stumbled upon while looking for something else on an old, massive hard drive — was taken circa 2005, when I’d gotten a white rose at a party because I’d been voted best dressed.
I was studying in Lancaster, England at the time. It was one of the best nights I’d had since I got there. I remember the experience was the bright spot of my existence, for a moment.
I’d completely forgotten about that photo, which I took when I got back to my dorm room that day.
Now, seeing it so many years later — and realising the similarities between my own photo and my main character Nicole, it’s uncanny!
I remember when my mom first read the book, eons ago, she commented that I’d written my dream job for my character: a novelist, who was also a journalist.
Here’s the thing… I’m now a published novelist (not quite as accomplished as Nicole, however!). I also have an International Journalism Master’s degree (which is collecting dust as we speak!).
…So my character’s actually done much better than me!
She’s also slim-bodied, super-talented and fashionable and oh-so-sexy. Ha. If only I could be! I’m also totally envious of her main physical characteristic: the huge curly hair. Sigh. I’ve got scanty of this myself, and not for lack of trying.
But the point is, I guess we have to get inspiration from somewhere. Nicole was the first character to POSSESS me like that, to write her story. Like I’ve said before, I’m a pantser; she’s the plotter! I swear, there are parts of the story that I don’t even feel I wrote; I think she did!
So maybe Nicole is my elevated version of myself. Everything to the extreme!
She’s also hella crazy to the extreme, and thankfully I am not. She’s all fiction, of course, and so is her story… but sometimes I wonder if part of her was always rooted in fact.
It’s no wonder I feel her like a presence, like a real person sometimes.
She’s a part of me. I didn’t even realise it consciously while writing her, all those years ago.
Now, when I spot this old photo of myself, after publishing and re-tooling my novel so many times, it feels so concrete that I’ve had this girl in me all along.
So strange, to realise that even back then — 14 years ago, which would’ve been about a year or so after I’d finished my first draft of Climbing The Walls, I knew exactly what Nicole looked like.
I’m glad to learn, in retrospect, that I stayed true to her 15 years later, when putting her likeness on the book cover.
Like I said, there’s parts of me in all the ‘Hart & Cole‘ women, who have been pleading with me for over a decade to do them justice.
My second novel — Book 2: Pandora’s Poison — is almost here (it will be live on Jan 22, 2019), and it focuses on a new female character, Luisa. But Nicole was my first girl, and parts of Nicole’s story are intertwined here in Book 2, and also in Book 3: Pandora’s Price.
Nicole’s not done yet.
…Sometimes, I wonder if she ever will be.
Get Book 1 now on Amazon – free on Kindle Unlimited! And pre-order Book 2 – coming January 22, 2019!
EEEK! Are you ready? I sure am.
Today we are officially 6 weeks away from the launch of Book 2 of my Hart & Cole series!
I wish I could release it NOW, but I know I need to be thorough with my editing — plus, I also need to be patient and have an actual marketing plan this time around! LOL.
First on this plan is putting it up for pre-order, which I just did today.
It’s a little scary to commit to a date when you know you’re still FRICKING EDITING THE DAMN THING, but I did it!
Jan 22nd is my birthday — so publishing Book 2 will be my birthday gift to myself.
I started writing Darren’s and Luisa’s story (Book 2 & Book 3) at least 12 or 13 years ago, and finally finished writing the first draft in 2016 after my beta reader friend read the first half and SCREAMED at me to finish it!
…And I have just been sitting on the damn thing ever since.
Now, it’s almost time to release it to the world.
I’ve spent the last 5-6 months learning from my own mistakes, learning from others, and absorbing all the info I possibly can from the amazing network of fellow Indie writers.
And I’m ready this time. I’m ready for Darren & Luisa to meet you all. ??
Buy Now (ebook)
But for all intents and purposes, my Hart & Cole series is about love. It’s a lot MORE than romance, and it covers all KINDS of love, but the relationship is a driving force here.
And there is a huge aspect of ‘romance’ though I classify it more as a ‘Women’s Fiction’ genre since it doesn’t follow the usual trends of a romance.
Anyway, I’m getting off-topic! Romance or not, my concern is the fact that
(1) there is a love story of some kind, and
(2) there is a cliffhanger at the end of the book…
The reason I’m even worrying about this, is that it took me a LONG while to make up my mind, but I finally decided to make “Book 2” into Book 2 and Book 3.
I’d blogged about this earlier when I got a hard ‘no’ from a book blogger for my 555-page Book 1, and I realised that nowadays the length of a typical e-book is certainly a lot shorter than a traditionally-published one would be.
In fact, everything is general is getting smaller and shorter and is now available in a “digestible” format, so it’s understandable that books would be, too.
Problem is, I simply can’t cut my book down to such bare bones.
My characters have a LOT to say, and my story is long because it simply has to be.
…But while I can’t cut down, I CAN however cut it into smaller pieces.
And… well, yeah. In this case, I think I have to. I’ve been as stringent as I can with editing… and Darren’s and Luisa’s story still comes up to over 300,000 words and 775+ pages!
Yeah. No one’s ever going to buy the print version of that, unless they want a giant brick to prop open a door!
And honestly, after living in their heads for 350+ pages, I myself need a breather!
So… I made the big decision to CHOP, baby, CHOP.
Fortunately, there is a somewhat “natural” point of their story, where it made sense to chop, and it does happen near to the mid-mark — Chapter 30 out of 55, so it was nice to round those up and make it “Chapter 30” for Book 2 and “Chapter 25” for Book 3.
Also, for some reason I had always naturally provided somewhat of a mental recap in Chapter 31 (now Chapter 1 of Book 3). So it wasn’t *too* bad of a change, to split them.
It did call for some rewriting, though. I had to rewrite the last scene of “Book 2” so it seems like it’s somewhat of a conclusion-for-now, of sorts.
And as Book 3 was shorter than Book 2, for balance I made a few chapters in Book 3 a bit longer — which was fun, actually.
I threw in a MUCH longer scene for a convo with Luisa & new gal-pal Vicki (because OMG I just love Vicki, and she’s been begging me to fluff her up a bit since I’m making her wait SO long for her own story!)…
And I also did a MUCHHHH longer final scene with Darren and Nicole that made my toes curl! *eh-ehrm, a bit too much info there*…
So objectively speaking (or as objective as I can be, given that I’ve written the damn thing myself!) I don’t think the chop is HORRIBLE.
And I think it’ll benefit me in the long run, to have two books instead of one giant brick.
Yay, me.
…But what about the readers?
I guess it’s fortunate that I’m not super-famous yet, and chances are that Book 3 (planned for 2 months after Book 2) might actually be released before most readers even get the chance to read Book 2.
So maybe I’m overthinking this, and it won’t matter. I haven’t sold enough books yet to have a throng of fans chasing me with pitchforks because they don’t know who ends up together!
But I did throw the question out to a few writer groups, and came back with responses at both ends of the spectrum.
My first response (which made me regret even posting it!) was…
“By ending with a cliff-hanger, you’d have pissed me off enough not to care, because I wouldn’t purchase the next one.”
Ouch.
Fortunately, he (and others like him) were in the minority and others quickly jumped in to point out:
Phew. Okay.
Which brings me to the heart of what I was actually asking…
That question got responses everywhere from 6 months to a year (on the long side), 1-3 weeks (on the short side), 1-3 months (on the average side), and a few jokesters who said:
Two hours!
And…
3 days! Did anyone say 3 days yet? Is this like “The Price Is Right”?
Ha, ha. You can always trust writers to come up with the best responses! 🙂
My foray into reaching out to other writers did bring me to ‘Zon’ (the equivalent of “Google” but on Amazon Kindle) a few of them, and get an idea of their success with cliffhangers. Generally, there were negative reviews but they were more than balanced out with high ratings and gushing reviews.
So despite its iffy bad-boy rep, readers do tolerate — and some even love — that pesky cliffhanger.
So… I’m going with the cliffhanger. I’m going with two books, two separate entities, though I originally wrote it as one story.
I’m going with a story that feels half-baked when it winds to a close, and as a reader I’d be ripping my hair out and flinging the book at the wall.
Because, you see…
I personally hate cliffhangers, romantic or not, and prefer to have all the words available if I choose to read on.
I personally hate short books with cliffhangers, as it feels like I’ve been cheated into buying another one. (Bitch, I’m cheap!)
…But does it change things, if each book is long, like mine are? Hmmm…
…And does it change things, if I throw in a preview of what’s coming up? (I do)
…And does it change things, if I make it VERY clear in the blurb that this IS a cliffhanger?
…And does it change things, if I have the preorder link with a two-month gap in between?
Sigh.
I’m still doing, as a writer, what I would hate to have done to me, as a reader!
I personally still see Darren’s and Luisa’s story (and oh lordie, it’s a doozy!) as one holistic entity.
But no sane person needs that giant brick 775+ page opus; that might scare everyone away from the jump!
There are far too many good reasons to split it, than there are NOT to!
Plus… my 385-page print of what’s now going to be Book 2 is such a cute size to hold 🙂 …
*Deep breath*…
Cliffhanger, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship…
This is perhaps one of the best compliments I’ve gotten so far on my debut published novel Climbing The Walls (Hart & Cole Book 1) – one I didn’t even think of, when writing.
Because, of COURSE my characters don’t get lost in each other – to me, they never will; they never can. They are each so individual, so unique, to me… so I’m thrilled my readers are also able to GET that.
Because here’s the thing:
Kris and Nicole – they’re both fully (and individually!) formed in my head. I’ve only just barely edited them.
In writers’ circles you have to be one or the other – either you have a plan and you outline everything, or you just write and see where it takes you. So, which am I?
I revealed my own secret through the character of Nicole, a part-time writer:
That’s rule number one about writing a novel. Never tell your agent, publisher, husband, or anyone even remotely involved with your book that you don’t know jack shit about what your book’s gonna be like.
Have faith that if you start somewhere, one night the words will grip you and you’ll be typing like a possessed creature and you’ll fall asleep slumped over the computer and wake up in the morning to discover what you’ve written.
It’s rare that ideas are going to come if you sit calmly day after day in front the machine with slotted times to work on the book. It’s whenever you’re haunted, whenever you want to get away from your own life, whenever you’re possessed. That’s when the inspiration hits. That’s when you grin on the inside and think, JACKPOT.
Writing’s a lot like sex –– when you’re not getting any it can be the worst thing in the world, but then when it comes and it’s good it’s great and worth all the nights you weren’t getting any.
Yep, that was my cheeky nod to the writing process.
If you’ve got a keen eye for detail, you’d have noticed that Nicole’s writer’s block happens on Chapter 6 of her novel (and it happens in Chapter 6 of mine!).
In law, in business, “Chapter 11” connotes bankruptcy. For me, Chapter 6 is the tipping point – just past the halfway mark between throwing in the towel and deciding to make it work.
Kris and Nicole have been married for 6 years before all hell breaks loose – beginning with the aftermath of their nasty fight that opens Chapter 1.
6 is the magic number here.
Chapter 6 of Nicole’s novel is the point when she decides to scrap everything and start over. It was also my point when the story fully took hold – when Nicole grabbed ahold of me and didn’t let go.
Hopefully Chapter 6 of their marriage is Nicole’s and Kris’ turning point, as well. God, I hope so. I hope I ended on a positive note, despite the journey getting there, despite the journey Nicole took me on.
Yes… Nicole. Sure Kris, was there too, but he was along for the ride.
Nicole was the one that pushed me, scrabbling at my brain and speeding those possessed fingers over the keyboard in the wee hours of the morning.
You see, Nicole is NOT necessarily a protagonist. You’re not supposed to love her.
Yes, I had trouble connecting with her at first. (And readers have said the same.) Everyone loves Kris – he’s easy to love.
He’s railing against himself to fight off the forces struggling to bury him… and he succeeds for a moment, only to plunge right afterward – self-destructing, seeking salvation, and susceptible; for the first time: susceptible.
But even in his darkest, weakest moment when he ultimately completely sh*ts the bed, you still feel sorry for him; you feel disappointed, sure, but you still feel compassion.
Nicole… not so much.
…But from Chapter 6, she was under my skin. She scraps her novel, and starts writing a story based on a memory of her childhood – and that’s when she became fully real to me.
The memory is about sex, which has always been easy for her to give away. Sex is easy. Everything else is the problem.
But you don’t – you can’t – “become” Nicole overnight… so how did she get there?
Where does she come from; what does she come from; who does she come from?
How does a girl turn into this monster bitch that can’t stop herself from making the wrong decisions?
How does a girl turn into a woman that goes from zero to a hundred – lashing out, vicious sexual seduction, profound intimacy – in a split second?
She’s scraped a piece of herself into everything she’s written. She’s all over the place. She was broken from the jump. That’s how.
She’s NOT a protagonist. Hell, I hated her, half the time. But that didn’t mean I had permission to stop telling her story. She wouldn’t let me stop telling it.
I’m working on Book 4 now, and I’m not even remotely done with her yet.
She’s already had her moments with Darren – coming up in Book 2 & Book 3 [and OH MY GOD, I LOVE WRITING SCENES FOR THOSE TWO!…] and still, for the life of me… I can’t stop.
She’s flowing out of me, this mongrel-mulatto journalist/writer b*tch.
I’m a pantser, oh baby I’m such a pantser, but only because she’s already been hard at work, plotting.
She’s eating me alive… she’s devouring all the other imaginary friends in my head, pushing ahead of everyone else to stamp her way through everything.
…And for the life of me… for the life of Nicole, God help me… I can’t stop.
In our society, a woman’s worth is often conflated with her ability to not only bear children, but to then selflessly raise them without a thought for herself.
This is the crux of the drama for the first couple in my series, Kris and Nicole.
Nicole can do the “dutiful wife” part; that’s easy – she’s always wanted Kris; the problem is that for him, the “mothering” part is also a major part of the wife role, and that’s where she struggles.
They’ve always talked about kids; she never saw herself as NOT having kids. I mean, it’s what you do, right?… whether or not you ever seriously thought about what it meant to have them or what you needed to sacrifice to do so; whether or not you yourself had a good relationship with your own mother; whether or not you ever really saw yourself as a mother.
Both Kris and Nicole come from dysfunctional families, despite the fact that they each had both parents around.
Kris’ background included a working-class home with parents that just couldn’t get it together to be home and actually parent their two kids; Nicole also came from a working-class home and was an only child, but her own parents were a hot mess as well.
For Kris, NOT having the kind of parents he would have wanted, made him even more desirous of the kind of home he wants to build with his own kids.
For Nicole, she just can’t figure out what’s missing in her, that motherhood didn’t come naturally. She’s going through the motions. She’s doing the pick-ups and drop-offs and dinner trade-offs and the natural order of splitting parenthood. She’s trying. But she’s faltering at every step of the way — and she knows it.
She sees how Kris is with the kids, and she envies it — how the kids crawl all over him, how he always stoops to talk to the kids at eye level, how he stops what he’s doing immediately to attend to something his kids want him to do.
She’s just… not like that. She doesn’t know how to be.
Luisa, on the other hand, we only get to know in Book 1 through what Darren says about her, but it’s enough to realise she is Nicole’s polar opposite. I’ll focus on Book 1 only for now.
Darren describes her family in passing, and in the little he does say, it’s evident she’s nothing like Nicole. “Worldly” and “amazing” — he originally thought she was out of his reach.
To him, she was the epitome of what he needed on his arm — a trophy, the perfect wife and mother… “warm, loving, but composed“.
She also comes from a upper-middle-class background with both parents and brothers that love her, particularly Alejandro (Lee).
For Luisa, motherhood came naturally.
She’s a mother to her three kids, and even a mother-figure to her younger brother. Since her youngest child was born, she’s stayed at home with her.
As a stay-at-home mom, however, she doesn’t have what Nicole has — the career, the security of self-pride, the knowledge of her own awesomeness as a woman outside of the “mother” label. That’s where she falters.
Darren’s friendship with Nicole centres on his admiration of her talent — the raw talent he helped to develop out of her; and Luisa can sense that connection a mile away.
It’s what eventually leads her into the arms of another man.
We also see some minor characters — Carrina, who is only 23 and raising her young son on her own; and Stacey, who dominates every aspect of her children’s lives, hovering to make sure they are mothered enough.
Carrina makes it look easy, and she’s good at it — Nicole sees her with her son and is jealous about how natural she makes it all seem, just like Kris does.
Stacey makes it seem like a job, but she’s also good at it — Nicole sees her as overprotective and overbearing, and rolls her eyes every time Stacey branches off into ‘baby-talk’ with kids.
We also get snippets of Kris’ and Nicole’s childhood memories…
Nicole’s mother constantly berated her husband; Nicole says:
“She made her throat sore from the yelling, the screaming, the squabbling… I remember her with her mouth open, always; the woman never shut up.”
And Kris says:
“Her mamma… was a dragon. Spat fire, that one.”
Kris’ own mother preferred to stay quietly on the peripheries of conflict, rather than getting involved. Even as an adult, she cowers to her husband’s raging temper, and leaves the room when he and Kris start to fight:
“Typical of her. Extracts herself from a situation that she doesn’t want to exist in. I’m surprised it took her this long to resign herself. She did it for twenty-two years while I lived under her roof.”
…So there’s a lot here, to unpack, when it comes to motherhood. I think it’s an important theme to focus on, because motherhood doesn’t come naturally; we are fools to believe it does, or that it would, or that it should.
The redeeming quality of motherhood, in Nicole’s case, is that when you DO give her half a chance, she rises to the occasion.
Usually, with Kris being around all the time, being the super-parent, Nicole hasn’t had to try too hard. Kris has always doubted her, and never really gave her a chance to become the type of mom he wants her to be.
When tragedy strikes with their daughter, Nicole doubts her powers as a parent once more:
“I really wish Kris was here. He – he knows her better than I do.”
But, even though Kris does return, it’s Nicole who saves the day and triumphs in her newfound bond with her daughter to understand her and think like her.
Nicole is inherently selfish (as most of us would be, if we let ourselves be!); but while fathers can “get away with it” if they’re “half-arsing” it as a parent, mothers just can’t. Everyone down to her daughter’s teacher – down to her daughter, in fact! – can tell.
Nicole has to go through a journey to see herself as a parent – and it takes a good bit of soul-searching for her to get there, and for her little mini-me (her daughter Nikita) to lead the way.
So, that’s it, for the “Motherhood” theme, for the moment at least! 🙂
I’ll pick another theme to delve into for another post.
“Tell me all of the things that you couldn’t before
Don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes
They say love is pain, well darling, let’s hurt tonight…”— One Republic: “Let’s Hurt Tonight”
Every time I hear this song, I think of my Book 2 main characters Darren and Luisa.
My beta readers already know the scene I’m talking about!!!
It happens about midway through their full story — when they each come to their explosive point and all the trauma of their relationship — all the elephants in the room, all the pain of the last four years, rise up as they finally TALK to each other.
In any marriage, in any relationship, communication is key.
This “Pandora’s Poison” of their marriage became that way because they didn’t talk to each other.
Darren had suspicions but no proof, and waited too long to confront her.
Luisa left her lover in the lurch, the moment it seemed like it was too much for her. She crawled back to her husband, begging him not to turn her away.
But he didn’t ask questions then. He didn’t want to know.
Now, he does.
Darren didn’t leave her after her affair, but it took a heavy toll on him to do so.
Luisa never got her head sorted out, about what she felt for Gianni, when she left him and went back to Darren.
Darren can’t understand why his wife became this different person, with her lover, that she never was with him.
Luisa is positive she wasn’t the only one with a wandering eye, in their marriage.
Darren hates the fact that she betrayed him, worse than he even thought she did.
Luisa despises the fact that she loves her husband.
Darren has gambled everything for love — which Luisa doesn’t know — and he’s determined to get her to speak.
Luisa wants to walk away and just leave — but he won’t let her, until he knows the truth.
The truth is a monster, sitting in the room with them, finally unleashed.
They are at their absolute worst.
They’re loud. They’re angry. They’re upset.
It’s… intense. It’s… WOW.
I’ve rewritten this scene so many times, and cried so many times!
Yes! My characters whispered me this scene, over and over, changing which way it went, lengthening it, changing the ending, adding in pieces… WHEW!
They were so adamant about it being precise. They did a good job.
I didn’t write that scene. They did. It’s my best piece of writing, ever, I think — but THEY wrote it.
Phew! I can’t wait to share that scene, with my readers.
“Let’s Hurt Tonight” — yep, that’s pretty accurate.
I’m so freaking excited for their story! *Eek*
In the meanwhile, I’ll go back to singing their theme song…
“Tell me all of the things that you couldn’t before
Don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes
They say love is pain, well darling, let’s hurt tonight…”
An important part of my journey to writing — especially in the end stages towards the PUBLISH button — was to set the lock screen & background on my phone to the book cover. I did it with Book 1 (left) and recently changed it to Book 2 (right)! So now I’ve got my book boyfriend to look at all day! ?
I look at my phone constantly — and every time I see it, I am reminded to WRITE! ?
To get me in the mood to write, I also try to get in the heads of my characters. I’ve created a Hart & Cole board on IStock, where I save photos that *could* be my characters (the way I picture them). This helps me with descriptions.
It works both ways — sometimes I have an idea of my character and then spot the person who matches it, or sometimes I use the person I find to create or elaborate on the character I’m describing. Sometimes I also search through to find random photos I can use to inspire a scene!
So that’s a little bit of my behind-the-scenes process to get “In The Zone”! What about you guys?
My interview blurb:
Read the conversation between Sacha and Qwerty Thoughts about her Book 1, “Climbing the Walls“, in the real-life romance, Hart and Cole series.
She has a lot of works-in-progress and her series is based on what she believes “A marriage is not a happy ending; it’s a beginning of so much more to come.”
In the interview, I talk about my Hart & Cole series, my favourite writers, my journey as a writer, challenges as a writer, and my advice for budding writing talent!
Visit the QwertyThoughts website to read the full interview:
I’m currently working on editing the second installment of my “real-life” romance ? Hart & Cole Book series ? “Pandora’s Poison”. In Book 1 “Climbing The Walls“, we meet Darren and Luisa, who will be the focus for Books 2 & 3.
I LOVE DARREN. I repeat: I LOVE DARREN. I’ve even blogged about how he’s been my longest relationship (15+ years!) so… yeah!
Darren is a serious ALPHA MALE who can control any situation and anyone he comes across… EXCEPT his wife Luisa.
?[BOOK 1 SPOILER ALERT]?…
Luisa cheated on him years ago with Gianni, and they wound up with some serious *baggage* from that affair. Baggage that’s now walking around calling Darren “Daddy”. Yup.
After an ?? EXPLOSIVE ?? scene when Darren first finds out Gianni’s back, he’s now trying to come to terms with co-parenting the child he loves with his wife’s former lover.
Luisa had no closure when she broke it off abruptly with Gianni years ago, and now she’s struggling to hold onto her heartstrings while she is forced to spend time with him so he can see his daughter.
And Gianni… oh, yeah, I love him too. But I love Darren more. Luisa may be conflicted, but I’m the writer so I get to choose who I love! …Even if he’s a righteous dick sometimes! (And oh… he IS!) ?
I can’t WAIT to share him with my readers! C’mon… don’t we all need a righteous dick in our lives? ???
Thankfully, I’ll most likely never have to find out. I don’t think he reads much, and if he does, my book won’t be his “cup of tea”.
…And then, there’s an another event in my past that I would love to write about. But I can’t, so I don’t…
There are stories I’ve published on my Creative Writing website, The Writink that were inspired by particular individuals; and quite a few items of Poetry that were inspired by crumbling friendships; a few of these I’ll willingly reveal:
And there’s snippets everywhere, from just about everything that I’ve experienced, that may one day slip into a piece of writing.
…But some things, some things that happen to you… never make it to print. Some things, need to die with you.
Because, as a writer, you are a keeper of everyone’s secrets.
But how do you decide which you should keep, and which can be revamped into your “fiction” piece?
I remember I once posted a status on Facebook that upset someone close to me, who assumed it was a direct personal target. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t.
The wonderful thing about being a writer is you’re also an escape artist — you get to hide behind that film of “creative license”. And boy, do some of us just love THAT.
In my case, with that flaming one-liner in Book 2, even if the individual in question does perchance stumble on it one day, I don’t think he’d mind. He might even be flattered.
That’s a rarity.
Not everyone appreciates your/their personal history being “fictionalised” for mass consumption and perhaps even ridicule.
I’m sure everyone remembers a couple of pop culture incidents with a similar theme. Let’s just look at rap music:
Of course, as writers most of us are not celebrities, so while EVERYONE knew exactly what the reference was in those incidents, it’s unlikely readers will know if you use something from your past.
But… the person it’s about, will. So does that mean you can use it?
My rule of thumb, is to first ask yourself: “Who would recognise this?”
Have you shared the incident with your friends, has the other person perhaps done so as well?
If not, you’re on the right track so far. Hopefully, the person may smile at the reference and be thrilled to be in on the inside joke.
The next question, should be: “How much damage could this do?”
Be honest with yourself. You DO know what’s potentially inflammatory, and what’s likely to be harmless.
And finally, “How would the person feel about this?”
You may have an idea. But if you are really not sure, and particularly if it’s a potentially sensitive person, ASK.
Of course, you may not always get it right.
The person you think would be amused, may be pissed off when they learn you’ve lifted from your shared personal experience for your own gain.
And yes, as a writer, you do have some personal creative license.
Inspiration has to come from somewhere, after all!
My own personal preference is to use inspiration lightly — so that the person in question may WONDER, but not necessarily KNOW.
It may not be the best choice… thankfully, so far I’ve survived with this method virtually unscathed.
I know many situations, however, where this wasn’t the case.
So, be careful. As a writer, you have a responsibility to use your craft for good, not evil.
And remember…
For the love of God, just ASK.
But I’m down 50 pages already (woohoo!), and all the nips and tucks in the world won’t get me to where I need to go. I need to edit. I need to CUT.
“Climbing The Walls” (Book 1), was already a bit longer than it needed to be (a criticism I’ve received, and taken in stride).
I felt it myself, during the million-and-one edits, but I justified it: for the first book, you need to take a little time to introduce characters and “drop in” snippets of back stories, little kernels of jewels that you can fully pop and allow to bloom in a later installment.
But enough of Book 1.
For now, my mind and heart and soul are buried deep in Book 2…
…Of which, the first draft was already 200 pages longer than Book 1!!!
So… it’s chopping time!
Lee — Alejandro Galeota — who is mentioned briefly in passing in Book 1 of Hart & Cole, and becomes a somewhat central character in Book 2 of Hart & Cole… Lee is awesome.
He’s Luisa’s little brother, and fiercest advocate. He’s Darren’s new protégé and business partner. He’s the children’s favourite uncle; and at only 21, he’s also a big kid himself. He’s dynamic, he’s supportive, he’s sweet, he’s lovable, he’s funny, and he has some of the best one-liners.
He’s also… well, not the point.
He’s there because he needs to be; he’s the reason certain plot points can move forward, and I’ve been thrilled to build his character out as fully as I can… but now, I can’t. I just can’t.
Editing a book is similar to a film or a TV show. I remember when I watched the Behind-the-Scenes/Making Of one of my favourite teen soaps, the iconic early-2000s One Tree Hill.
There was supposed to be an entire story arc of Peyton helping a troubled young girl, and… when it came time to cut… there just wasn’t. As they explained it, in the end…
You have a certain running time, and instead of tweaking every other scene to chip off bits and pieces to string together a story that still makes sense, you go with the easier option: just CHOP one section out entirely.
And, hard luck for the poor actor/actress who was about to make their debut!
After all, I’m sure we all remember the funny scene on Friends, “Joey’s Big Scene” where Joey faked a scene for his grandma, when his character got cut entirely, after he had invited all his friends and family to watch!
Every writer has a process.
I write in Microsoft Word, on a regular 8″ by 11″ letter-sized layout. I do this because I want to have a concept of pages and flow, and in terms of content I know what my chapters should look like, in that layout.
I write EVERYTHING, to start. The story happens in my head in its entirety — every single word of dialogue, every pause, every action, every look between the characters.
Then, I bring it into the template sized for publication (I’ve chosen 6″ by 9″ for Hart & Cole — you can download a sample template here). Here, I see where all the words actually fall, all the orphaned one-words dangling unnecessarily on a line by itself, or the very short page at the end of a chapter.
That’s where my cutting starts — tightening the white spaces.
Yes, you need to leave some of them, to be easy on the eyes, but it’s better to have a half-page or quarter that is blank, than a single line or maybe two on a page by itself!
So, some of the lengthy first draft, thankfully, gets tightened up naturally, once your goal is just to reduce white space.
I also write a lot, I repeat a LOT of dialogue. And there’s only so many times you need to write “he says/she asks”.
Yes, you need enough, so that the reader can follow who is speaking, but I focus on using their actions in between their words rather than identifying the speaker with “he/she says”.
For example, early in Pandora’s Poison (Book 2):
“I am just saying… we used to be friends, Luisianna.”
“No, Gianni.” I uncross my legs and pull my feet up, hugging my knees. “We’re just two people who used to f**k, a lot, a long time ago.”
And, a little later down, when Darren and Nicole see each other for the first time in weeks:
Nicole sighs. Her eyes drop to the box at her feet. “So I’m really fired?”
“You wanted to be fired, baby girl. Be careful what you ask for.” I smile ruefully, chucking my index finger in her direction.
Not once did I use the actual words of “speech”, but you know who’s talking. That way, you can get away with getting rid of about 50% of “he said/she said”.
So… dialogue, white spaces… woohoo! You get a few pages knocked off the top that way.
The real problem comes when you realise you’ve invested 20% into a secondary character, who really only needs 10% or less — no matter how much you love every single word you’ve written for him in every scene.
…So, I’m sorry Lee. I’ll try to do justice to you sometime later on!
First of all, you have to remember that Darren loves Luisa.
…To hell and back.
And she’s taken him there, so she knows.
Second of all, you have to remember that Luisa owes Darren.
Even when he behaves badly (and oh boy; does he!)… she owes him…
My friend and beta reader was determined to dislike Darren, after the end of Book 1 of my Hart & Cole series.
I don’t want to give away spoilers — particularly when I’m not entirely sure when Book 2 will be polished and ready for mass consumption, but basically:
A very, very good man [despite his flaws] did a very, very bad thing.
It’s easy to look at a character like Luisa and label her “weak”, and wonder why on earth she even makes an effort to forgive him, as she does at the start of Book 2. But you have to remember that everyone’s story is not the same.
This a man who loves his mama, and his two girls; and is raising his precocious son to be a good man.
This is a man who did the unthinkable, years ago, to try to save his marriage.
This is a woman who has always loved strong, imposing men.
This is a woman who broke THIS strong, imposing man, time and time again… and she knows this.
So, I repeat: everyone’s story is not the same.
So, yes, up to the end of Book 1, I’m on board with my beta reader friend. I myself, as many women have, have been at the receiving end of a man that crossed the line.
Despite the outcome (and fortunately mine was a “good” outcome), there is that moment of fear, when you’re in an intimate setting… and you’re not 100% sure if your words are going to be enough.
So, like I was saying… there’s no excuse for Darren’s behaviour. And I wholeheartedly agree.
But, you see, here’s the thing: I LOVE Darren.
I’ve loved Darren for 15 years. He’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.
He’s my favourite character I’ve ever created.
He’s kept me up at night. I’ve rewritten every one of his crucial scenes dozens of times over the years.
He is my Book 2 and Book 3 man, and he’s been the most fully formed character since long before Book 1 even had a title.
Though we meet him throughout Book 1, he doesn’t get to spread his wings until Book 2 and Book 3.
I can’t wait to share him, in his full glory, to the world.
He may be in my imagination, but he’s my muse.
…So I’m determined to make her love him, too. I’m determined to make everyone love him.
…Which means, I’ve got my work cut out for me.
That aside, our ongoing squabble about my character led me to think of how we, as writers, develop our characters.
Is it okay to just let them unfold onto a blank page?
Do we have a list of actions they need to get in, before the story’s climax?
I wish I had such an intricate plan — it would help if I had a bullet point list I could plan around.
For me, my characters control me. I have to wait till they tell me.
They tell me their strengths, their weaknesses, what they can do, what they will do in a situation.
I like to make sure that all my characters learn something and go through something to get them somewhere important in their relationship by the end of each novel.
For Book 1‘s Kris and Nicole, their tumultuous 3-4 months was their relationship’s breaking point… when they were each at their worst.
So how do you keep that in mind, while setting up all the scenes that led them there?
I use a premise-based approach.
My Hart & Cole series overall has a simple premise: RELATIONSHIPS. MARRIAGE. PARENTHOOD. INFIDELITY. INSECURITY. There’s a lot you can do with all of that, without writing an elaborate tale. These are things we all go through at some point in time. These are things we all understand.
Assuming you’re a writer worth even a sprinkle of your salt, once you have the smallest kernel of a story, you can build from that into so much more.
Once you’ve got the premise, you just need to mesh the premise with the characters.
I try to break my premise down to 5 lines or less, and make sure that my characters’ motivation (even though it’s never SAID directly) will trace back to the 5-line character premise.
So, here’s my Book Bible for Book 1:
First of all, you need to know that Kris always wanted kids.
…And Nicole always wanted Kris.
But here’s the thing: you can’t half-ass motherhood and still expect to keep your “perfect” husband.
Second of all, you need to remember:
Mommy forgets everything.
Once you keep that clear 5-line thought in your mind as you write, it’s a lot easier to build scenes around your characters.
If you finish Book 1 of my Hart & Cole series, and then go back to the beginning two chapters (available here), you’ll realise the entire plot is covered in the first two chapters.
Everything that happens, was alluded to there.
All the themes were mentioned; the upcoming “breaking point” event (for *both* of the main relationships)… was right there.
I began with the premise, and I used the premise to help with the foreshadowing of events to come.
By the time Book 2 rolls around, you soon realise Darren’s bad behaviour (from Book 1) was inevitable. Events led him to that point; he didn’t get there on his own.
Then Luisa… I had fun with her, because there’s so much about her character to dislike; she may be the least sympathetic to some readers!
But Luisa’s a good girl. That’s important to remember.
What’s more important to remember is that good girls do bad things.
And the bad girls; the bad boys… sometimes, they are the best of all.
“You’re one of the good ones, Darren Hart,” Nicole says to Darren, in Book 3.
And he is… oh gosh. I promise you, he is.
So like I was saying, I need to make everyone love Darren.
I’ve got my work cut out for me. Let me get back to it…
Let’s get one thing straight. As I clarify in my Hart & Cole Author Q&A, I am not a romance writer.
Or, at least, I never saw myself as a romance writer.
But it’s easy to see how genres blur into each other and become something else.
After all, the now-infamous erotica trilogy started out as “Twilight” fan fiction, and readers (who perhaps never even knew it was ever fan fiction!) may spend months arguing over whether it’s a love story or just erotica.
…But why does it have to be one or the other?
Why does everything have to fit into a box?
If you read the excerpt of Hart & Cole Book 1 (Chapters 1 & 2), you’ll realise it’s not the typical “romance” genre…
However, when you go to actually publish something, you’re forced to choose genres, and then “romance” ends up being my default fall-back option.
But I don’t write romance.
A typical romance has two single characters that squabble for no damn good reason for a few hundred pages, and wind up lip-locked or in bed by the end (depending on how “Christian” the author is — no pun intended 🙂 ).
Now, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my fair share of this stereotype, with their page-turning, swashbuckling heroes and heroines… but I just can’t write that. I don’t want to write that.
My Hart & Cole characters are married, with kids. Their day-to-day lives and dialogue make up 75% of the story. This isn’t the typical romance — but about what happens AFTER the “I do”. There’s no “for-sure” happy ending.
That’s because I don’t write romance. I write relationships. I write people.
And, once you decide that you write people, anything can happen.
My series can become anything I want it to.
I’m the writer. I get to decide how far into the light or how deep into the darkness I want to go.
You, the reader, only get to decide if to follow me there.
…But, if you like reading fantasy, or sci-fi, or action, or horror… for God’s sakes, don’t read my book. You won’t find any of that there!
My “idea” of my typical reader (I could be wrong) is a young to middle-aged woman who likes watching TV dramas, appreciates an easy-to-read novel with a simple plot and loads of dialogue, can tolerate a little cursing (okay, okay — a lot, by some characters!), enjoys a love-making scene that isn’t totally pornographic/erotica, and — most importantly… likes characters that are real people, and inherently flawed.
So, if you’re my audience, WOOHOO!
But… if you’re not, that’s okay too. If you know you like reading those other genres, and that’s all you like, then don’t read my book just because you want to say you’ve read it!
I appreciate the support, but give it willingly with an open mind! 🙂
And, remember… there are other ways to support your “writer friend” without enduring reading a book you know you won’t like!
We live in a shareable world driven by social media influencers, and amidst the cacophony of noise, any little nudge will help.
You can share my posts, my promotional images, my Author website, my purchase links (Kindle or paperback), my Facebook page @SFortuneAuthor, my Instagram feed @sfortuneauthor, or my Twitter feed @authorsfortune.
Or, if you’re not on social media, no prob… you can do the old-school version of this. Drop it into a convo: “Hey, so my friend published a novel…” Yeah, it’s that simple.
So, if my book isn’t your cup of tea, but you do know someone who fits the bill, just spread the word!
It’s officially out. It’s published.
It’s available. ANYONE can get it, ANYWHERE in the world. On ebook or paperback. It’s OUT THERE.
I’m excited. I’m thrilled. But more than anything, I am, in a word… TERRIFIED.
I’m fortunate to be able to say I’ve accomplished a lot of great things in my life, but still — just being able to push that “Publish” button, and open the whole wide world to a piece of my mind… it’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever had to do.
I’m not kidding when I say I’ve been sitting on this book for over a decade and a half. It’s the first book I wrote for adults — and I began writing it when I was just at the cusp of being one myself, in 2002! I finished it somewhere around 2003-2004 or so, and then… I sat on it.
Well, I shared it with a few friends and family via email or hard copy, and I shared excerpts at Writers’ Guild at my uni, Lancaster University. And, that was it.
It just sat there.
Half a dozen times, I looked into publishing — more specifically, self-publishing — but I didn’t follow through. Back then, self-publishing was practically unheard of.
By 2011-2012, e-readers became ubiquitous. I regained interest in self-publishing, and fine-tuned the blurb.
It took awhile to cut it down to something that could easily capture what the book is about, without giving too much away.
Then… I sat on it some more.
Around 2015, I felt the urge again to get back on this project, so I looked into getting a cover done.
I asked two graphic designer friends who, separately, took forever to produce nothing.
I love them still, though… and as one of them (who hadn’t read the book) scolded me:
“This is YOURS. You can’t leave it up to me to create your cover. YOU know what it needs to look like.”
Damn right.
I found this to be even truer and more relevant, when I found a professional (read: “a stranger, with a deadline, who was actually getting paid“) to do the cover, via the freelancer site Fiverr. Her first draft was awful.
I can’t blame her for that though — she didn’t know me, or my characters. But once I gave her some guidance, she delivered.
I had to find the photos myself — which took eons to stumble upon the main “perfect” one, and the others from which to sample.
Then, I told her how I wanted it edited — mainly, my character needed more hair. Lots of it: curly, wild, crazy hair.
I know graphics… so I know you need to be talented to be able to work with human hair! I love the final product, and I’ve used the same designer again for my Book 2 cover.
But I knew, while I was fretting and taking — quite literally — years to do a book cover!… I knew that my first book cover, my first foray into the Hart & Cole series, my Book 1 covergirl, my “Nicole” (and you get this sense of entitlement, of protective ownership about “your” characters) is mixed-race, sexy, and vulnerable.
The cover has to say all of that.
Hopefully, it did.
Getting the cover done was a huge step that propelled me the rest of the way.
I made it the screensaver/background on my phone, so that I looked at it every day — constantly, until it pissed me off that I kept seeing it and hadn’t published it yet!
Then, I did my research.
Amazon is a great publishing platform. There are LOADS of others. I chose Amazon because of its popularity. There are drawbacks, but nothing that was a dealbreaker for me.
The one thing I did find in my research worth mentioning (which many, many, many people stand by, if you are serious about being a writer) is that you should get your own ISBN.
It took me quite a bit of running around to figure this one out, and after contacting international and then regional agencies, I found out Trinidad & Tobago has our own ISBN agency in the National Public Library.
So, ISBN purchased, I had no excuse now.
All that was holding me back was myself.
I proofed my book again several times on-screen — adding comments to its PDF version with Adobe Acrobat Reader, then making the edits in Microsoft Word, and then again while I was creating the e-book version through Kindle Create.
Then, I printed hard-copy proof copies through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing and when they arrived in the mail, I proofed those several times yet again.
I chose between a range of template sizes for the book; here are some awesome tools to get what you need: KDP Manuscript Templates and KDP Cover Templates. I played around with glossy and matte covers, and white and cream paper.
Tip: White paper is a little thinner, so the cover template will be off-balance if you sized it for cream paper! (I learned this the hard way!)
I eventually settled on a glossy cover, with cream interior paper.
And, each time I printed it, I proofed it for errors yet again.
I’m sure if I proof it another time, I’ll still find things I want to change.
But…
At some point, you need to let go.
You need to let go of your characters, so that you can share them with others.
And, most importantly: you need to let go of that fear of failure.
Publishing — overcoming that fear to hit that “Publish” button — is still just only one tiny step to becoming a writer.
Next comes… Marketing. Eek.
